Eggs, Goats, and Possibility
by Once Upon a Whim
Summary: What if Luke wasn’t the only one seeing faces? A little LLthemed filler for “Luke Can See Her Face”
1. The Egg Part

_**Eggs, goats, and possibility**_

**What if Luke wasn't the only one seeing faces? A little filler for "Luke Can See Her Face"**

**L/L Minimal actual JavaJunkie-ness, but it's definitely the theme**

**Basically, this is just a little something that had been running through my mind since last season when I picked up on a couple things in the dialogue of "Luke Can See Her Face." I've written fan fiction for other shows before, but pretty much stopped since it took up way too much time. But after seeing this episode again, I couldn't help myself. It's just a couple quick in-betweens for the scenes in the actual episode. Not that I think that any of this would have actually 'happened' in TV land while we were stuck watching the commercials or anything, or that any of the writers intended for anyone to take their dialogue this way. But that said, nothing about the episode has to be different for this to work, so you never know… I just thought some of the characters' comments could be taken different ways or played up more. So… **

**Also, it's been a while since I've written anything at all, and I've never written Gilmore Girls characters before, so I apologize if the writing/characterization/dialogue/etc. is sub-standard.**

**On that note, please let me know what you think of it. Good or bad, feedback is always helpful :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Gilmore Girls, except for the Season 1 and 2 dvd sets, and this crazy little tangent to one episode. Everything else is the WB's and the Palladinos'.**

Rory froze for a moment and dropped the clothes she'd been yanking from the closet. Her mother's words from a minute ago were only now registering in her mind.

_My eggs are still viable!_

Eggs? What the hell? What did that matter, Rory pondered, unless Lorelai was actually concerned with having more children? Was she?

Rory lowered herself to her bed in a stupor, letting out an audible "Huh…" as she re-played her mother's words in her head.

To be honest, Rory hadn't given much thought to the possibility of siblings since her elementary school days when she would ask Santa Claus to bring her a baby sister… Sure it had crossed her mind for a split second when Gigi was born, but her mother just seemed so… so set in her life.

Even when she had been with Mr. Medina, a relationship that logically could have led to pregnancies and siblings and the big happy family picture, she still never saw her mother as… well, as the mother type. Lane had brought that topic up with her long ago – Lorelai wasn't the mom type. Of course, Rory, ever practical, had merely pointed out that Lorelai _was_ her mom. But she's not a _mom_ mom, Lane had insisted.

Now that she was older, Rory could certainly see what Lane had meant. Her mother was only thirty-six, an age when most women were in full child-bearing and soccer mom mode. Look at Sookie, she'd just had Davey, and more were probably on the way for her and Jackson eventually. But that was Sookie… And a million other thirty-somethings with mini-vans.

Lorelai lived for low-rise skin-tight jeans and stilettos. Not finger paints and kindergarten.

Or so Rory had assumed anyway… She knew her mom loved her to death, and had always told her she'd never change a thing about how things had happened, but Rory knew that her mother was her mother simply because she'd gotten pregnant. Not because she was the type of woman who'd dreamed of having her own kids, or anything like that. And that wasn't just because Lorelai had only been a teenager. Up until a few moments ago when Rory had heard about her mom's still-viable eggs, she always had Lorelai pegged for the type that, even if she'd gotten pregnant at thirty instead of sixteen, that she'd have the kid simply because she was pregnant, not because she specifically wanted to be a mother. It wasn't that Rory thought her mother resented her or any other hypothetical kid she could have had – she knew that wasn't the case - but once she'd caught on to Lane's observations, Rory had figured that her unique relationship with her mom was not just a result of her being born so early in Lorelai's life, but also that Lorelai simply didn't want to be a mom. So being the cool, friend-type parent that she was, was probably just her way of avoiding typical motherhood.

Not that Rory admitted to such things often, but she was starting to wonder if she was completely wrong. Could the Jimmy Choo obsession and everything else just be the end-products of Lorelai being a victim of circumstance?

Hearing her complain about the cats was one thing, and failed relationships and all that, but really, what did breaking up with Digger have to do with eggs being viable, unless she really was thinking about more kids?

Rory smacked herself inwardly, remembering her own words… _Better than a bun in the oven._

She'd meant nothing by it, and obviously in her own circle at Yale, a bun in the oven was definitely unwanted. And she'd assumed the same went for her mother… But what if it didn't?

Lorelai hadn't responded to the remark on the phone. Actually, she'd pretty much ignored it and just jumped right back to the cats…

Had she really struck a nerve with her mom? Rory's mind was reeling, having clicked into that Gilmore overdrive she owed to her mother, with thoughts flying around faster than she could process them.

Pawing through the clothes she'd just tossed on her bed, Rory found her cell phone and quickly dialed home.

"Gilmore house of yarn balls, how may I help you?" Lorelai answered, still peering out the window, slightly perplexed and disturbed by the growing cat colony on her porch.

Rory waited a split second, not quite sure of how to broach the subject. Finally she ended up just blurting it out, "Mom, your biological clock is ticking!" She winced at having heard herself, wondering how in the hell she could be making it through Yale, but still not be able to be a little more articulate than that on the phone.

Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai's brow furrowed for a second upon hearing her daughter's outburst, but she recovered quickly enough. "No, but the timer on the coffee pot just beeped…" She paused for a second, not really sure of what her Rory was getting at. "Rory, hun, what's with the sudden quoting of bad Kirstie Alley movies?"

She headed towards the kitchen for said coffee, waiting for Rory to spit out another apparent non sequitur.

Rory ran her hand through her damp hair, trying to get something better together for take two, "Do you want kids?" _Ugh_… Not much better this time either…

Lorelai stopped mid-pour and set the coffee pot down. "Uh, Rory, hate to break it to you, but I think it's about nineteen years too late for me to answer that question." She giggled before continuing in true Lorelai fashion, "Aww, hun, is this your way of telling me you've finally made your decision to run away with the Ringling Brothers and leave me childless? Don't you worry now, I've got the cats to keep me company!"

Rory groaned, her mother was being impossible again, and she let her know it in her best whining voice, "Mo-om…"

"What Ror?" Lorelai was getting somewhat exasperated. She certainly knew what her daughter was asking in the literal sense, but she certainly couldn't figure out where it was all coming from. Plus it was far easier to play dumb and try and steer Rory away from wherever she was going, because if Rory dug much deeper, it might get ugly. "What am I supposed to say to that? Where the heck is all this coming from?"

"Duh, your eggs." Rory knew exactly what her mom was doing. Lorelai wasn't stupid; Rory's brains had come from somewhere, and she was willing to bet it wasn't Christopher.

_So that's what had brought this up_… However, in addition to the smarts she shared with her daughter, Lorelai also happened to have the gift of silly, cutesy ways of avoiding topics she desperately wanted to avoid. And Rory was hitting a little too close to home now that she was bringing up the comment Lorelai was currently dearly wishing she hadn't let slip. So cutesy it was… "Actually I was going to get pancakes at Luke's today," she pronounced coyly.

No more beating around the bush. "Mom," Rory stated flatly, "Your eggs are still viable."

"Oh…" _Damn it Rory!_ "Right." Lorelai knew her daughter well enough to know she'd been cornered and that she couldn't fend her off anymore. So she responded in kind, with a similar lack of emotion, "And they are."

Neither Gilmore spoke for a moment, as Lorelai waited to see how far Rory would take this particular subject. Rory, on the other hand, was just trying to figure out what on earth was running though her mother's head at the moment, or what had been when she'd first been yammering on about the cats earlier. If she was being this indignant about avoiding, maybe this questioning and the 'bun' talk really had hit a nerve. So Rory went for a more gentle prodding when she posed her next question to her mother, "Do they need to be?"

Lorelai knew that was coming, but it still stunned her a bit when Rory finally spit out what she'd been trying to get at for a while now. She collapsed onto one of her kitchen chairs, and let out the only half word she could with start, "Wha…"

Hearing Lorelai suck in a quick breath and trail off like that was confirmation enough for Rory, her mom really was thinking about more kids… But she wouldn't let her overactive mind stop there, "And you didn't say anything about my 'bun in the oven' comment…" The brain was in Gilmore overdrive again, and before Rory even knew what she was thinking, she'd already jumped to some startling conclusions, "Oh my God!" She shrieked into the phone. That would explain her mom's crazy behavior! "You're already pregnant! Is Jason…"

Lorelai's jaw dropped, "Rory! Stop!"

But there was no stopping an avalanche once it got going, "…the father? Oh God, that's why you're so upset you broke up!"

"Rory, no, I'm not…" Lorelai stammered on in protest, trying in vain to get Rory to listen to her.

"Does he know? You have to tell…"

Lorelai finally butted in, loudly, flatly, and very definitively, "Rory, no. Not pregnant."

Only now realizing the crazy tangent she'd run off on, Rory stammered sheepishly into the phone, "Oh, ok, uh, sorry…"

Lorelai smiled to herself - as uncomfortable as the topic at hand was, she couldn't help but be amused by Rory's reaction. "How 'bout a little warning next time you start screeching in Mommy's ear like that? Geez, that sure as hell woke me up, who needs coffee now… Hey, that'll be a first for Luke, he'll be happy to not have to give me…" She rambled on, unconsciously trying to avoid the subject yet again.

But Rory, having put the reigns on her not-so-bright ideas, wasn't about to let her mother get away with it so easily. It was obviously bothering Lorelai, and she really just wanted to be able to talk about it with her. "Mom…"

"What?" Lorelai gasped indignantly, "You can go on random rants about my new status as an incubator and I can't babble a little?"

In a sing-song-y voice, Rory just kept going, "You're avoiding my question…"

"What?" Lorelai paused, not believing Rory was still asking her these things, "You're not serious!" she cried with a huff, "I'm not pregnant!" _And she wasn't_, she confirmed to herself. Just last week she'd been down at the pharmacy to grab some very necessary Tampax.

"Not that question," Rory sighed.

Lorelai was getting exasperated. This was one of the topics she'd desperately tried to ignore for the better part of the recent past. "What, kids? Rory, I have you, like I said, it's a little, late…" She trailed off, not in defeat, but as she lost herself in her own thoughts. Though no one in her life could have known, Lorelai's answer to Rory's question was a big, emphatic yes. But she'd barely admitted it to herself over the years, and as such, she'd become an expert at skirting the issue in general conversations. But it was Rory doing the conversing this time…

On her end, Rory was getting pretty exasperated herself, but she wasn't about to back down. She wasn't a reporter for the paper for nothing – persistence was the key. So she kept right on trying to pry some answers out of her mother, "Again, the avoiding!"

"The avoiding of what? There's no avoiding." To say that Lorelai was uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation would have been an understatement.

"Do you want _more_ kids?" Rory demanded.

As always, humor was Lorelai's defense mechanism of choice. "Like, more kids… In the world? Well, isn't it getting kind of crowded, like over there in China?" She joked lightly, "I would say no to them, no on the more kids."

"Mom." Rory wasn't falling for the funny stuff. If her mom was going to these lengths to not answer her, there must really be something going on… And she wanted to know what it was, even if only to help her mom out a little by understanding. "More kids. More kids for you. Like me, ones that come out of _your_ uterus from _your_ viable eggs." _There,_ she mentally patted herself on the back, _you can't get any more direct than that. Take that Lorelai Gilmore!_

Still not quite ready to give in, Lorelai opted for one last try on the humor front, "Oh Rory, we've had this talk already… Have you forgotten about the birds and the bees already?" Remembering her actual 'birds and the bees' talk with Rory way back when, she gave a little shriek, "Ooo, fun! Should I sing again like I did the first time?" And with an excited giggle, she launched into a shaky Marvin Gaye, "It takes two baby, it takes two baby, to make a dream come true…"

Shaking her head and cringing at both her mother's antics and her singing voice, Rory whined into the receiver, "Please be serious? I mean, the words came from your mouth Mom, why bring up viable eggs when you're complaining about Jason and cats?"

"I don't know…" Lorelai's voiced faded out, her emotions getting the best of her and her resistance crumbling.

Rory sensed this, and rephrased, hoping that another version of her last question would do the trick. "I mean, I guess I never thought to ask until now, but do you want more kids? Is that why you're whining about cats outside?"

It worked. With a sigh of resignation, Lorelai replied dejectedly, "Ugh, Rory, I don't know…"

"Mom?" Rory coaxed gently.

Lorelai pursed her lips and squeezed her eyes closed for a moment. She'd dug herself a little too deep to get out now. Rory had her cornered. And she'd never tried it, maybe talking about it would actually help… "Well, yeah, you were a blast, but you're off being smart all the time now. Lorelai version 3.0 wouldn't, oh wait," Lorelai paused, correcting herself, "4.0. Gran was one…" She trailed off, unsure of how else she could express herself on the whole kid issue. "Well, you're away at Yale and all… _adult_-y… It wouldn't completely suck to have another one of you around." She finished quickly, almost afraid of what Rory's reaction would be. She knew it was pathetic, to be crying over Jason, and wishing for kids and whatever, but she wasn't sure she could take having Rory spell that out for her.

"Wow…" Rory was floored. Sure, she'd been thinking that Lorelai had the idea of kids in her head, but hearing her say it outright was another thing. Another kid. Now, so long after her? Now that she way away at Yale? _Wait…_ "So wait, then, is this just your version of empty nest syndrome?" Rory questioned, slightly bewildered. "I mean, most parents of college kids are like fifty, and can't just replace the one away at school, but you can, so is that why…"

Lorelai cut Rory off before she could go any farther. "Must be." _If that's what she wants to think, then so be it…_

"Really…" Rory didn't buy it. It had seemed to fit, but then Lorelai had answered a little too quickly, a little too definitively, "Mom, for your usual dramatics, that was hardly convincing."

"Ugh." Lorelai rested her head on her forearm, momentarily despising Rory. "Evil child. I hate that you know me so well."

Rory smiled at that. That was the Lorelai she knew. "I am you. As you're so fond of pointing out."

"Yeah I know," Lorelai sighed. There was no use fighting Rory on it anymore, so she gave in. "So yes. Maybe I've thought about it from time to time," she admitted sheepishly.

Rory still couldn't believe it. And if it wasn't just her mom's crazy Gilmore version of empty-nest syndrome, then how long… "Since when?"

"You were eight," Lorelai stated, managing to sound almost guilty as she did.

"Eight?" Rory exclaimed, "When you wanted another kid?" Her stunned voice seemed to echo in her own ears. Half an hour ago she'd never even given a second thought to her mom wanting another kid. _But for a whole decade?_

"Eight," Lorelai confirmed. "I don't know, I mean, we were still in the shed at the Inn, but I had some money saved up by then, I was starting to think about getting our own house and stuff. And I was what, twenty-four? My mother, of course, made it a point to tell me that Christmas that everyone else my age who didn't drop out at sixteen were all graduated from Yale and Harvard and Dartmouth other smart rich kid places and married and having kids. I hated her for rubbing it in my face, but it got me thinking, twenty-four wouldn't have been a horrible age to have a kid. I mean, up until then, I was a little more concerned with learning hospital corners and folding napkins like swans so Mia would keep me around, but by twenty-four I thought we were doing ok. I was in charge of the whole housekeeping staff by then, so my job wasn't in trouble or anything…"

She paused, surprised by her own sudden willingness to share all of this information. None of it had ever been spoken aloud before, and from the deafening silence coming from Rory at the moment, she wasn't the only one who was surprised about all of it finally coming out in the open. What could she do at that point but finish the story?

"So yeah, twenty-four, still kind of young, but hell, compared to sixteen, I think my parents would have crowned me the queen of England for waiting until twenty-four. And once I started thinking about it, it seemed like you came home from school every single day to torture me by telling me somebody else had a new baby brother or sister…"

Rory tried to stifle a giggle at that comment, as it seemed slightly inappropriate, but she couldn't help herself.

"So yes, fine." Lorelai stated, almost defiantly, "My _biological clock, _as you so tactfully put it, dear daughter, started ticking when you were eight." It seemed so foreign to hear herself actually articulate her desires for another child. She'd never planned on anyone hearing any of it…

Once Rory had managed to process a bit, and wrap her mind around Lorelai's admission, she asked incredulously, "And ever since?"

"Well no," Lorelai conceded, "Most of the time reality would hit and I'd just got back to you, and working, and avoiding my mother. But recently…" She took a deep breath in an effort to compose herself and squelch some of those very same recent emotions she was referring to. "It sure as hell didn't help when Sookie had Davey…"

The longing she'd felt when Sookie had announced she was expecting was back with a vengeance as soon as she mentioned it. She'd been thrilled to death for her best friend, who herself had wanted for so long to have children. But there was always that underlying jealousy and pain at every reminder of Sookie's pregnancy… To stave off the tears she knew were coming, Lorelai quickly drew her monologue to a close in the most detached, business-like tone she could muster, "But Rory, like I said, it doesn't really matter anyway."

Aghast, Rory responded to her mother's last statement in disbelief, "Mom, it completely matters! If you want kids…" _How could it not matter?_

Rory didn't even get a chance to make her case that Lorelai was insane in thinking that, for whatever reason, the fact she wanted kids didn't matter. Lorelai cut her off almost right away with a defiantly hummed reprise of 'It Takes Two', "Hmm Hmm Hmmmmm HmHm…"

Now Rory was just annoyed with Lorelai for making light of what was suddenly obviously a huge issue for her. "Shut up with the song," she snapped, a little too harshly, "I said be serious."

"I am Rory." Lorelai bit back with equal venom, digging her nails into her palms in annoyance at herself for having let the conversation go too far. "Just because I'm feeling a little nostalgic when I see Davey or when you leave for Yale or when I see one of your old baby pictures, it doesn't mean I'm having another kid. You were there," she spat condescendingly, "Why do you think you didn't get a brother or sister in back then in third grade?"

"What?" Rory stammered, taken aback by the overwhelming bitterness in Lorelai's voice.

"Do you see your Dad around?" Lorelai asked pointedly. "Or anyone else with a Y chromosome? Ever? Anything close? And don't say Max, because…" Lorelai stopped, knowing exactly why she didn't want to talk about Max, but not wanting to admit it out loud. "Well, just don't say it, he doesn't count."

"Why doesn't he count?" Rory caught a regretful tone in her mom's voice, suddenly replacing the vitriol that had been there not ten seconds ago. With Lorelai's emotions apparently jumping all over, Rory couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't getting the whole story… "Mom?" She prompted inquisitively.

"He just doesn't." Lorelai replied, "I'd have never gotten to kid stage with him even if we did get married." Except she knew she would have.

Sure she hadn't loved Max like she should have, and that was, of course, why she'd called everything off. But she could have dealt with it. She could have gone through with the wedding. And they would have had kids. Max was just cut and dry like that, very practical – kids were the next step. Yes, she'd have been miserable with the marriage, but it crushed her every time she thought about the fact that, had she stayed with Max, she could have had another baby already…

Thankfully Rory had accepted her simple reasoning for Max not counting, and had moved right along with her questioning. "What about Jason?"

"Ha!" Lorelai exclaimed. For all the emotional crap she was dealing with at the moment, she had to laugh at the out right absurdity of the thought of Jason Stiles ever having kids. "He'd have weird Stepford kids who just sat in the corner and didn't make any noise, like that creepy dog," she smiled, "No, Jason was definitely not ever going to father anything of mine…"

That Rory could sympathize with. Jason had never seemed particularly fatherly to her. Not that that helped with her mother's present situation… "So you've never had more kids because you've always been single?"

"Ouch, you wound me, it wasn't _always_…" Lorelai lamented jokingly. "And really, I need to complain to Yale or Chilton or Miss Patty or something, because you obviously haven't absorbed anything about reproductive biology. Yes, when you're single, there's no… no… acts of conception happening anywhere."

Rory grimaced, knowing that for as close as she was to her mother, no matter how old she was, she'd never be one hundred percent comfortable with thinking about Lorelai sleeping with people. Yes, it happened, _in theory_, but it didn't mean she wanted to think about it in a concrete sense. "Mom…" she whined.

"Well, it's true!"

"There's other ways." Rory pointed out, thinking of adoption and other such things…

Lorelai understood immediately, and put a quick stop to Rory's train of thought, "Look Rory, I'm not that desperate. And yeah, another you would be nice, but I don't really want to have to do it again alone. If I was gonna have more kids, I want the whole package. But, again, do you _have _anyone that you call step-daddy? Que sera sera. C'est la vie…" She paused thoughtfully for a moment before continuing sheepishly, "Umm, I don't know anymore foreign clichés…"

"Mom…" Rory smiled and rolled her eyes at Lorelai's last comment.

Glad that Rory seemed to be finally letting the conversation die, Lorelai jumped at the chance to expedite its demise. "Let's just forget it ok. The viability of my eggs was just a regular old Freudian slip, and nothing would have even come of it if it wasn't for you and your oversized over-smart Yale brain catching me. It doesn't matter, so let's let it go. Don't you have a class to be early for, and I have a zillion inn things to do." Which was true. They'd already wasted however long on this pointless conversation, and with the test run coming, she really didn't have time to waste.

Rory knew her mom had a point with the time thing. She'd have to race to get to her first class now, but at least it'd been worth it. _Or had it?_ She wasn't sure if she'd ended up helping Lorelai, or just upsetting her more, which definitely hadn't been her intention. _Damn it_, she swore to herself. The more she thought about some of the things Lorelai had said, she was sure she'd have more damage control to do when she went home for the weekend. "Mom, I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely.

Lorelai's heart ached when she heard those words. Rory being so sweet and thoughtful and perfect was exactly what had made her want more kids in the first place. She knew Rory was just trying to help, but it still hurt. "It's ok sweets, just…" She had to put an end to this conversation… "Whatever," she stated, in true flippant Lorelai Gilmore fashion, "You're an only child and there's cats outside."

She'd unwittingly wandered back over to the window over the course of their talk, and poked her head through the curtains to check on said cats. "Oh hey look, only one cat!" She shrieked, noticing the definite absence of multiple felines. "Maybe they heard us," she continued babbling to Rory, "Keep talking about kids and not being single, maybe it'll go away too!"

Rory grinned. At least it seemed her mother was somewhat back to normal, "You're insane, you know that, right?"

Content knowing that the cats were no longer multiplying outside, Lorelai headed back to her seat at the kitchen table, responding to Rory's quip as she did, "Yes, yes, I do. And you have my genes. Ha! Now get to class you, and forget all of this."

"I'm going…" Rory sighed. Putting on her best motherly tone, she made sure Lorelai knew that she felt there was still a lot to talk about, "But don't think we won't talk about this later young lady!"

Lorelai slumped in her chair, knowing that she should have figured Rory had seemed to have been letting her off the hook too easily. But she couldn't dwell on that now. Maybe she'd forget… "Yeah, yeah, I'll try and remember that along with the gazillion inn things I've got to do today. Movie night day after tomorrow??"

"Yup. Have food ready."

"Don't I always?" Lorelai teased.

"Bye Mom."

"Bye kid."

Lorelai turned the phone off and gingerly placed it down in front of her. With a quiet sigh, she ran both hands through the tangled waves of her hair and leaned her elbows on the table. That was a conversation she'd never expected, or wanted, to have. There were many, many things in her life that she shared with Rory – She was her best friend, daughter or not, but there were just things that she'd never meant to share with anyone, anyone at all.

More kids. Of course she thought about it, how could she not? Sure, her initial foray into motherhood was slightly less than orthodox, and she wouldn't trade it for anything, but was it so wrong to think she might like to try it again, in the more traditional sense?

She inwardly cringed. She'd die if her mother knew she was thinking like this, wanting the pretty picture family that Emily herself had wanted for her for so long…

But it really did come down to everything she'd told Rory. She was alone, and from her track record, it certainly looked like that was going to be the case for a while. As much as her wailing about becoming a crazy cat lady had been meant as a silly, random, meaningless complaint to her daughter, it really was one of her deepest fears. One of those things she didn't even share with Rory.

While she never saw herself actually going out and voluntarily purchasing cats to have around, she'd had plenty of visions of herself pretty much right where she was right now, just sitting around the house, all alone in Stars Hollow, as Rory ran around the world with her journalism people.

Damn 'Friends' for having their stupid ditzy characters only be able to comprehend mathematical concepts when it came to marriage and kids. Lorelai really didn't want to acknowledge any half-hour sitcom as containing any sort of wisdom whatsoever, but she did have to admit, although begrudgingly, that Rachel Green was dead on. Kids by thirty-five was ideal, with getting the guy a few years before that. And single again at thirty-six meant Lorelai was falling way behind schedule. If she wanted to ever have more kids, she needed to be dating potential fathers…

Not that she could have ever imagined Jason having a child, or seeing children as anything more than a nuisance or an investment, breaking up with him had just been a slap in the face to remind her of everything that she did her best to ignore in her everyday life. With Jason, kids weren't an issue, and the rest of her life just took over in distracting her. With all the inn preparations and issues with her parents' separation, she had little time to worry about the fact that she was going nowhere fast, at least in her personal life. She was stuck. But only _she_ was stuck. Sookie and Jackson had made it – they'd survived a relationship, gotten married, and started the kid process. Christopher was off with his own happy little family with Sherry. Even Kirk had found Lulu. _Kirk!_

_What the hell was so wrong with her that she could find no one to live happily ever after with when even Kirk was getting the happy ending?_ She wondered to herself dejectedly.

Lorelai didn't even notice when a few tears began to slip down her cheeks. It was nothing new – every time she let her mind wander to the topic of kids, a husband, the future, she always wound up at least a little misty-eyed. _Or a lot misty-eyed_, she conceded to herself as more tears threatened. She could never even put her finger on what exactly the crying was for, whether it was sadness, or jealousy, or something else. But there had even been a few times when she'd caught a glimpse of Sookie with Davey and had had to leave the room, lest she have to explain herself and the whole topic that she always so fervently tried to avoid be broached.

"Gah!" Lorelai jumped up from her seat with a grunt and a swipe at her damp cheeks, practically disgusted with herself for letting her emotions get the best of her when there was so much left to be done for the inn. Yes, as Rory had so vehemently pointed out, her biological clock was ticking, but the countdown to the inn's opening was ticking faster. She couldn't let herself be bothered by problems that she couldn't fix.

The pillows for the inn however, could be fixed, among all of the other things she had to attend to that day. So she did what she always did when she started getting depressed thinking about all of these things – she wiped her eyes and cheeks with the back of her hand, and headed up to the shower. She had too much else to worry about; all she could do was go about her life and get to work.

On her way to the shower, she peeked through the curtains at the porch. _At least the cats are gone…_

**To be continued**


	2. The Goat Part

_**Eggs, goats, and possibility, part 2**_

**See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.**

**Thanks so much to all of you who left replies – I'd nearly forgotten what a rush feedback can give you. So thanks – it really means a lot to me :) And I'm thrilled that people seemed to like it so far!**

**Also big thanks to NicoleMack for the heads up on anonymous replies. Like I said on part 1, I've done other fan fics, but none on this website, so I don't know all the little ins and outs like that yet…**

**Again, everything from the episode remains as is, and this is all just my version of fill-in-the-blanks. This second part takes place after the scene in which Lorelai and Rory begin their movie night. Just keep in mind that Luke hasn't 'seen her face' yet.**

**I always appreciate feedback, whether praise or criticism, so let me know what you think!**

Lorelai stifled a yawn and glanced over at Rory, who sat enthralled by the first selection for the evening. Of course 'Fatso' was a hit; she gave herself a mental pat on the back for her astute choice of entertainment.

She just wished she was able to appreciate it a little more. After two sleepless nights, she wasn't in the best shape for a movie marathon. The inn stuff she could take – that she'd expected. What she hadn't wanted was the constant pingpong-ing of her thoughts between the practical inn issues, and the oh-so-impractical emotional crap she'd been trying to fend off since she'd discovered those stupid cats. Sure she'd managed to ignore all the kid talk during the day, when she was physically out and about, running on full-speed. But lying in bed with nothing else to do? There was just no shutting off the brain. Especially when it was Lorelai Gilmore's brain.

And even if she had caught a few actual Zs somewhere in there over the past two nights, she was sure that they'd been tainted by haunting dreams of kids and husbands she'd never had. But it was all just a blur, with any coherent thoughts blending seamlessly with the subconscious concoctions of her slumbering hours.

Lorelai was actually beginning to wonder when she'd ever get decent sleep again. After the second night, she was finally getting to the point where she could get her life issues back in her brain's storage compartment, where they usually were housed. But even then, the test-run was closing in, and with the ever-growing to-do list for that, there didn't seem to be a reprieve anywhere in the near future.

With the movie drawing to a close, she pondered escaping upstairs for an early night. She was so tired at that point, real sleep seemed a possibility, even if it meant she was simply passed out from exhaustion… She hated to ditch Rory and head for bed, especially considering the fact that on any other Friday, they'd still be suffering together through dinner with Emily…

But when another head-splitting yawn hit her just as the credits began rolling across the screen, she took it as fate. Unfortunately, Lorelai had barely opened her mouth to explain the complete and utter necessity for a little sleep to Rory, when Rory barged right in with her requisite comments on the video.

"Mom, that was absolutely amazing," she gushed. "And the title… 'Fatso'…" She trailed off, smiling and shaking her head in amusement.

Lorelai gave a weary grin, and agreed, "I do love a good fat people movie."

Again, she'd intended to just end the conversations there, the tiredness for one thing, but also because, so far, she'd managed to steer Rory from the topic they'd discussed on the phone the other day. If she could escape to bed without hearing about all that again, it would exponentially increase her chances of getting some sort of peaceful sleep before she had to get up the next morning and start the whirlwind of inn preparations all over again.

While Lorelai sat and stared at the stairs up to her bedroom, mentally trying to motivate herself to actually move her feet, stand up, and get up said stairs, Rory remained oblivious to her mother's zombie-like state and kept right on going with the movie critique.

"I do say, it should be named a Gilmore classic from now on, shouldn't it? Right up there with Willy Wonka, because seriously, what's Willy Wonka without that Gloop kid? Any movie where the fat kid's name is Gloop is required to be a classic." Rory paused to give a little snort of laughter, "Gloop…" After another second of mocking, she added thoughtfully, "And candy. The candy is a big plus…"

Lorelai managed a subdued, "I agree," as she began gathering up plates, leftovers, and trash to bring into the kitchen before heading up to bed.

Catching the intent of her mother's actions, Rory knew she had to think fast. She hadn't even begun drilling her mother on the baby issue, and she knew she had to at least start chipping away at Lorelai's resistance tonight. She was only at home for the night, and she really did want to have a good old Gilmore heart-to-heart, even if they didn't get any farther than last time, if only because she'd be able to see her mother's facial expressions as she avoided everything. Neither Gilmore was particularly good at lying to the other, so once they were face-to-face, Rory knew she'd be better able to tell how her mom was actually feeling about things.

"Hey Mom?" She began innocently, "You know what other movies have great fat people in them? Nine Months, Father of the Bride part 2, Look Who's Talking…" Bad as they all were, Rory rattled off the first few pregnancy movies that popped into her head somewhat nervously. Bold as she'd been on the phone, and as much as she wanted the face-to-face talk, it was also more difficult for her to broach the awkward subject with Lorelai sitting right there.

As soon as Lorelai heard those titles, she knew she was in for it. _Stupid Rory and her persistence_. She dropped the Chinese containers in her hands back down to the coffee table and collapsed back into the Lorelai-shaped dent she'd just left in the couch. "Again with the crappy John Travolta movie," she exclaimed in frustration.

Rory shrugged guiltily at Lorelai's expected hostility to the topic, "Hey, I thought it was a good segue…"

"You also thought New Kids on the Block were good," Lorelai replied pointedly, refusing to look at Rory. If she batted those big baby blues at her, she'd just crumble. _Why else did people think Rory had been able to con her into drinking coffee when she was barely twelve?_

"Harsh." Rory flinched at the sound of her mother's voice. Not so much from the words – she did have a point there – but from the tone, laced with bitterness.

Lorelai crossed her arms across her chest like a petulant child. She didn't mean to hurt Rory - she'd always avoided that at all costs. But she really didn't want to go back to where their earlier phone call had gone. Still not looking Rory in the eye, she sputtered out the only slightly venomous retort that she could muster at the moment, "Yeah, well, deal." _Weak Gilmore, weak_, she chastised herself. It was amazing how the caliber of her come-backs could drop off when a little misery got thrown into her personal life…

Unwilling to let her mother bottle up her emotions any longer, Rory moved to sit on the coffee table to face Lorelai. "Mom, you can't just ignore it," she insisted.

Lorelai squirmed on the couch, trying to avoid Rory's intent stare. There was no other way to explain it. She just really, really, really was not in the mood to talk about having kids with Rory again. Her brain already hurt from everything else going on in there. And pride wouldn't allow her to let Rory see her in the state she'd likely end up in if Rory had her way with the direction of the conversation. Besides, she'd already come way to close to screwing up and letting it all out – to Luke of all people. He didn't do feelings and heart-to-hearts. She hadn't meant to bring anything up with him, or anyone, but with the Shel fiasco, she'd just been so overwhelmed… Relationships being hard, making her sad sometimes – it had just slipped out. Luckily, it hadn't been as bad as it could have been. She'd pretty much been on the verge of a full-scale breakdown, and she'd been embarrassed enough by the first one Luke had witnessed - she couldn't let herself go again. So the fake smile had been plastered back on, worrying about the inn had been put back in the number one position, and Luke had been spared the sequel to 'Meltdown in the Park'.

With only Rory around, avoiding the meltdown would have to happen a lot earlier in the game. Lorelai had to put her foot down, "Nuh uh, no more discussion Rory. I told you that."

Rory sighed. She'd never say it out loud, for fear of being disowned, but her mom had her grandmother's stubbornness. And Lorelai was putting it to good use at the moment. "But, you still…" Rory's last-ditch effort trailed off, as she knew she was probably fighting a losing battle.

Which she was. With a tone of finality, Lorelai made her declaration, "The horse is dead, so shut it kid, or you've seen the last of these doughnuts." As she spoke, in an effort to lighten the mood a little, she'd snatched up the plate holding a few pastries and waved it precariously over the bag she'd been tossing garbage into. "Uh oh… Not the doughnuts… There they go…"

The Gilmore sweet tooth won out in Rory – she'd just pester Lorelai about a baby again tomorrow. With mock horror, she grabbed the plate back from her mother and cradled it protectively as she comforted the poor little doughnuts and reassured them that they were safe. She added a contrite "I'll be good," directed to Lorelai.

Lorelai nodded triumphantly, "No more talk of reproduction or lack thereof." She could finally go get some sleep… Before she moved to get up from the couch again, she pondered a little peace offering. Maybe it'd keep Rory off her case for a while. _And it was just funny_, she reminded herself with a smile.

She repositioned herself on the couch, and patted the cushion next to her for Rory to move back from the coffee table. "Ok, except this." With a mock serious tone, she broke the news to Rory. "Now I know this may upset you, but Rory, I do have to tell you about someone who will definitely not be your stepdaddy anytime soon… Or ever," she added as an afterthought.

"Ohh, who?" Rory squealed, the previous conversation fully abandoned. "Sounds like more gossip. And the fun kind. I love fun gossip." She jumped over to face Lorelai on the couch in full gossip position, deftly grabbing a doughnut on the way.

"Shel."

With a puzzled expression, Rory broke off a piece of the sprinkled doughnut and handed it to Lorelai as she attempted to place the name. She couldn't. "Shel?" she asked quizzically.

"Shel the poultry man." Lorelai stated with a giddy smile spreading across her face. Now that she was a day removed from Sookie's insane set-up, she could definitely appreciate its laughable qualities. Plus she now had a doughnut…

Rory gasped in jest, "You're kidding."

"Sadly, no," Lorelai lamented melodramatically, "Sookie apparently isn't quite busy enough with all the inn crap we've got going and took it upon herself to play matchmaker and set me up with the Donny Osmond of chickens, turkeys and all things feathered."

"Sookie, Sookie, Sookie…" Rory shook her head with an air of amusement.

Lorelai nodded vigorously, eyes wide in agreement, "I know!"

"So how'd you duck that one?" Rory wondered aloud, with a silly giggle following her question. "Haha, duck… Poultry pun."

"Smart Yale humor must be above me…" Lorelai responded with a smirk.

Rory threw her last bit of doughnut at Lorelai and pouted, "Shut up."

"Yeah well," Lorelai stuffed the projectile doughnut in her mouth before continuing, "Anyway, I used my astounding intellect to think quick and avoid getting sucked into the world of Shel. Luke was having a bonding moment with the sink or something, so I grabbed him and we pulled a quick Rupert and Julia in 'My Best Friend's Wedding.' Or I did. Luke just kind of stood there and grunted."

"I would expect nothing less from Luke," Rory stated, eyeing the plate with the remaining doughnuts.

"Of course," Lorelai agreed - all Luke ever did was grunt, so today was truly classic Luke. "So yeah, that pretty much did the trick for Shel. You call Luke a 'special friend', pull a little of the flirty eyelash thing, and Shel's history. Thank god."

"Special friend?" Rory's ears practically perked up like a puppy's as she gave in and reached for a second doughnut, "Something you'd care to share on the Luke-front?" Her eyebrow raised, she eyed Lorelai with a sly smirk.

"Luke-front?" Even Rory had gone to the dark side, sounding more like Babette and Patty harassing her about Luke, than her sweet little innocent daughter. "There is no Luke-front, dirty girl," she chided. "Being away at Yale must be making you lose your immunity to the stupid town rumors."

"Rumors? I know of no such rumors…" Rory stared, innocent and wide-eyed, as she took as big a bite as humanly possible of her jelly doughnut.

Taking offense, Lorelai swatted at Rory's leg before playing along, "Yeah, you know, somewhere between the pop rocks and coke making you explode and Martha Stewa…"

She couldn't finish her sentence, as she instead became captivated by Rory's current doughnut situation. It seemed that her initial bite had been so big, that the jelly filling had sort of exploded out the side. It had already leaked onto the side of Rory's face, and she was now contorting her neck awkwardly so as to keep the blob from sliding down any farther.

It was actually quite amusing for Lorelai to watch, who snickered at the sight. "Problems?" She purposely mimicked the exact innocent intonation Rory had just thrown her way.

"No…" Rory denied vehemently, muffled as the reply was by the mouthful of doughnut she still had. No sooner had she spoken, the said wayward filling decided to succumb to gravity. She ended up with a gooey streak down the side of her chin, and a sticky strawberry blob in her hand. "Yes," she corrected sheepishly.

Lorelai burst out laughing at the sight of Rory, usually so proper and Yale-like, sitting there looking bewildered, with a fistful of jelly and the offending doughnut in the other.

"It's not funny, I'm all sticky," Rory glowered at her mother, who held off on the laughing just long enough to toss a napkin in Rory's direction.

And as Rory struggled fruitlessly with the paper napkin, Lorelai's laughter increased to the point where she had tears in her eyes. Not only was the paper just getting stuck on Rory's hand, making the mess even worse, but in watching Rory, Lorelai had recalled a conversation she'd had once upon a time…

Frustrated, sticky, and annoyed that her mother was finding such joy in her suffering, Rory snapped in irritation, "Ok, definitely not that funny."

"No, no, no…" Lorelai waved her hands in protest as she tried to get a grip on her laughter, "It's not you, it's just," A snort escaped. "I don't think I've seen it since he said it. And I didn't figure I'd be seeing you…" Her efforts were futile – another wave of laughter overtook her, as Rory was left sticky and confused.

"What?" Rory had no idea what the hell her mom was babbling about.

"Jam hands!" Lorelai exclaimed. "We were just talking about Luke and then you, and the jelly…" She dissolved into giggles again before trying once more to explain her outburst, "It's why he hates…" She trailed off again, though her laughter died out along with her words this time.

_At least you had a kid…_

Luke's words from the previous day suddenly echoed forcefully in her ears, overwhelming her.

_At least you had a kid…_

Rory continued fighting with the remaining stickiness on her hand, and not having noticed the stunned expression on Lorelai's face, she just wanted to hear the end of her mom's little jelly tale. "Because of jelly?" she asked unwittingly, trying to encourage Lorelai to pick up where she'd just trailed off.

Lorelai barely heard her, "Huh?"

"Luke hates jam?" Rory prompted, finally looking up and noticing the starry-eyed, far away expression her mother now wore.

"Huh?" Lorelai tried to shake Luke's words out of her head and focus on Rory, who seemed to be saying something to her… "What?"

Giving up on the jelly on her hand, Rory eyed Lorelai suspiciously, "Ok, space cadet Gilmore, where did you just go?"

Lorelai heard Rory's question that time, but she could feel… _things_… creeping into her consciousness. Whatever it was, it was fuzzy and just beyond her grasp, but as Luke's words continued to ring in her ears, Lorelai couldn't shake the feeling she was on the edge of something…

Flustered, confused, and slightly disturbed by the fact she, all of the sudden, couldn't get Luke out of her head, she grabbed the closest video to her and tossed it at Rory. "Just… here, put in another movie," she ordered, "Movie night rules, no talking."

"Ok…" Rory cast one more wary glance at Lorelai, before acquiescing and getting up to slide the new tape into the VCR with her non-sticky hand. Sometimes there was just no figuring her mother out…

With the new movie starting, Lorelai sat back, uncharacteristically quiet. To Rory, she appeared to be actually watching the television, but it couldn't have been farther from the truth. Lorelai had no idea what was flickering across the screen in front of her.

She was still reeling from her own realization of Luke's statement the day before. _Luke wanted a kid?_ _Luke_ wanted a kid? Luke wanted _a kid_? Since when? He couldn't… Luke? But jam hands… Bodily functions… And short - _very_ short - conversations…

She racked her brain, trying to explain away his comment somehow. He must have meant something else. He must have. It was Luke. And she was Lorelai, that much she knew, but that was nothing she'd just figured out… She shouldn't have been this bothered by Luke's little declaration… It was Luke. She was still Lorelai… And she was very, very confused.

Kid meant kid. There was no way around it. Sure, it meant sheep – _or was it goat?_ Lorelai wondered for a moment… Some barn yard animal anyway, but she had none of those. And surely Luke knew her well enough to know that she didn't own, and never had owned, any farm-type critter.

He must have meant an actual child… But it was Luke. Lorelai just kept ending up right where she'd started. Luke didn't want a kid. He couldn't. It was too… Un-Luke-ish. But he'd said it… Vicious cycle. It was Luke. Luke wanted a kid. But he couldn't, because he was Luke. But Luke said he wanted a kid…

Lorelai, knowing she was getting nowhere with her current line of thinking, forced herself to drop the kid comment from her mind for a second, and tried to focus on just the source. Go right to the source, right? Surely Rory had said that somewhere in her budding journalism career… Luke was the source. Figure out Luke, and maybe then she could figure out where he was coming from on that…

Luke. Luke…

Lorelai mentally began going over a list of anything she could think of that was Luke. Whether she was just trying to confirm for herself that Luke must have been insane when he said he wanted a kid, or whether she was looking for some sort of evidence that could indicate that he did want a kid, she didn't know. But she knew Luke. And what you know is safe. Luke wanting a kid was new territory, and Lorelai wasn't sure she wanted to go there…

Mr. Backwards Baseball Hat. Check.

The coffee provider. Check.

The diner man. Check.

The sporter of all things flannel. Check.

The reluctant guardian to Jess. Check.

Her personal sink-and-everything-else fixer. Her bell-breaking partner in crime. Her Yale mattress mover…

Somewhere over the course of her Luke-list-making, Lorelai's mind began to wander from a simple characterization of him as the scruffy owner of the town's diner to everything he was to her. He was _her_ this, _her_ that… Somewhere in her subconscious, he had long ago been designated _her_ Luke.

He was her ice-man, her savior from the chicken-y schemes of Sookie and Shel…

Recalling her desperate antics to rid herself of Shel, Lorelai couldn't help but notice a little fluttering in her stomach… The same butterflies she'd felt as she'd unintentionally led Luke's hand a slightly astray as she yanked his arm around her waist… She'd felt the barest brush of his fingers on the underside of her breast… Even that long after the fact, just at remembering it, she was nearly blushing at the memory of the little shiver that had run up her spine at the time – It was Luke! She didn't have those kinds of reactions to good old Luke.

Except for those few times she did…

Completely inadvertently, Lorelai began letting her thoughts drift to the other times she'd felt those little butterflies with Luke… When he'd bought her basket and they'd shared a picture perfect lunch together in the gazebo. When she'd slept in his bed the night of the fire. And painting the diner a few years ago, she could have sworn they'd been but a breath away from a kiss... The complete and utter relief she'd felt when he'd finally spit out that he and Nicole were getting a divorce…

But it was nothing, she told herself. Nothing. She'd denied Sookie's accusations about the night when Stella got loose, she'd denied Emily's assertions over and over. Well, she hadn't completely denied feelings for Luke that one time, but she'd managed to convince herself that admitting anything was merely an act of self-preservation to get Emily off her back.

_No_, Lorelai scolded herself, _no thinking about Luke like… like that_. It's Luke. There was nothing there. There never was. He was Luke. Her friend. And only her friend. Just Luke.

For whatever reason, as had been the case for years, Lorelai simply would not allow herself to think of Luke as anything but Luke the diner man. Maybe she wanted to think of him as more, maybe she didn't. But it didn't matter either way, she'd always kept those sort of musings as off-limits.

So as if to set herself straight, Lorelai forced herself back to her Luke-list, not even really remembering what she'd began it for in the first place. Now she just needed to get any wayward thoughts out of her head and put him securely back in the little Luke mold she'd restricted him to for so long. Driver of big green truck. Baseball fan. Chuppa maker…

_Damn it Lorelai, too personal_, she cursed inwardly.

Taylor hater. The one who came to Rory's Chilton graduation. The one who loaned her an insane amount of money to save her inn…

Lorelai's mind was drifting again, and she was helpless to stop it.

The one that Patty always said had a 'thing' for her… Father of her dream twins…

_Dream twins_.

It meant nothing. She didn't want Luke. Luke didn't want to father her kids. Or any kids. Lorelai told herself instinctively, just as she had when she'd first had the dream, that it was just a silly dream…

And then it all hit her.

Luke _did_ want kids.

And _she_ wanted Luke.

And she, Lorelai Gilmore, wanted kids with Luke.

Her eyes went wide, and she gasped aloud in shock, "Oh my God!"

Rory turned to her, perplexed - nothing going on in the movie could have possibly elicited that reaction. But as quickly as Lorelai had come to life, she'd quieted again. So Rory shrugged and focused back on the TV. Sometimes you just didn't ask questions in the Gilmore house.

But over on the couch, Lorelai's heart was racing and she wasn't having the easiest time catching her breath. She'd finally – finally! – put two and two together and it had hit her like a ton of bricks. Or a few tons of bricks… She wanted kids, and Luke wanted kids, and everyone always said Luke wanted her… _And now_, she was finally realizing, _she wants Luke_.

_Whoa_…

The butterflies and blushing were back in full force as Lorelai's mind raced. Where _had all of this come from?_ Not even a week ago, she'd been content enough with Jason, just having fun and not thinking long-term at all. And now she wanted Luke? Until that very moment, she'd never, ever, let her mind get that far with her Luke thoughts. Sure, there'd been the butterflies a few times, but more often than not, she'd explained them away as the result of a few wayward hormones in her very lonely, very single, body. Lorelai had forced herself into denial over Luke even more than she'd tried to quell the desires for more kids.

_Wait…_ Lorelai tried to slow the runaway train in her mind for a moment, trying to sort through something that was only now starting to make sense.

Had she subconsciously forced herself to ignore Luke-feelings since she'd thought he didn't want kids?

And now that he'd admitted he wanted kids, the floodgates were open?

She had felt those same warm fuzzies when Luke had made a pointed attempt at the dance marathon to tell her that there'd be a kid discussion… But denial reigned, and he'd said it would only be with the right woman, which couldn't have been her. But what if it _was_ her? Had everything Luke had done for her that she'd just mentally listed been because he really did want her, like the town said?

Until that moment, Lorelai had never been able to put her finger on why exactly she wouldn't let herself ever think about Luke like that, why she would never allow herself to have feelings for him. _Or admit the feelings_, she mentally corrected herself, now sure more than ever she'd felt this way for longer than she knew. Could it really have been that she subconsciously could not and would not ever be with someone who was so adamant about not wanting the same future she did?

_Hold up there Gilmore_, she forced herself to slow her thought momentarily. Jason hadn't been the biggest fan of kids, how had she been able to be in that relationship?

She knew the answer immediately – as if her sudden awakening to Luke had given her a new sense of clarity on all aspects of her life. Jason hadn't been **_it_**. It didn't matter if he wanted kids or not, she was going nowhere with him, and must have known it deep down.

But with Luke… Even as she thought of his name, she couldn't help but recall those little sparks she'd felt the other day as they'd played the happy couple for Shel. Those same sparks that had always been there, really. The one's that she'd always forced herself to ignore.

That was the difference from Jason. With Luke, all those suppressed sparks had been a big flashing warning sign – start anything with Luke, and it _would_ be **_it_**. But **_it_** without kids wasn't what Lorelai needed, and because Luke hadn't wanted kids, she'd always kept him at arms length.

But now…

Lorelai pressed her face into a pillow, not wanting to scare Rory with the Joker-scale smile she had going on. With all the pieces seemingly now falling perfectly into place, she was giddy, practically bouncing in her seat on the couch. All of the sudden everything was coming together. She wants Luke, she thinks he wants her…

She sucked in a quick breath, tensing up for a second. She could almost see the big picture, the happily ever after, and all only a few minutes after never even having allowed herself to give Luke a second thought. It scared her.

Or it should have scared her. But really, it didn't. For just another split second later, the initial fear gave way to the happiness and the butterflies all over again. Lorelai wasn't going to let herself be afraid of the big picture – truthfully, she should have been afraid all those times she _couldn't_ see **_it_** – the big picture – in her relationships.

And now… Maybe, just maybe, she could have **_it_** with Luke.

At that thought, she giggled to herself. _Dirty!_ Have **_it_** with Luke… Not that _it_… She scolded herself for letting her thoughts about Luke get anywhere near _it_.

_Well, actually_… With a wicked grin, she tilted her head contemplatively. Lorelai's mind quickly drifted from the silly, giggly mode of an eight-year old laughing over the insinuation of the little two-letter world, to the very adult mode of daydreaming about a very naked her having _it_ with a very naked Luke. _Really dirty!_

Yet for all Lorelai's elation and fantasizing at her recent epiphany, there was one nagging little question in the back of her mind, slowly forcing it's way forward, demanding to be heard.

What had changed in just a little over a year for Luke? Why did he want kids all of the sudden? He was still the same old Luke. If anything, she figured the whole Jess experience would have steered him even farther from any sort of parental desires…

Now curious, Lorelai wondered to herself what could ha…

_Nicole_.

He'd been married. To Nicole.

_Oh no…_ The horror started to creep into Lorelai's brain. _If he found the right woman there'd be a discussion…_ Was Nicole the 'right woman'? Had Luke wanted kids with Nicole? It was only with Nicole that he contemplated kids, and never during the supposed 'thing' he'd had for her?

Had Rory been watching Lorelai instead of the movie, she would have been able to see her mother visibly deflate as this second wave of realization washed over her.

Luke had only wanted kids with Nicole… Lorelai was crushed. She'd just had a life-altering revelation about what and who she wanted, only realize she'd been fooling herself the whole time, thinking that Luke would reciprocate her newfound feelings.

_Fine_, she thought defiantly. Fine. That's just fine and dandy. So Luke wanted kids with Nicole and not her. What else was new? Hadn't that been how it was all year when he was actually married to her and 'living' in Litchfield? Yes. So everything was exactly the same. Status quo. Nothing had changed, she attempted to convince herself out of pure self-preservation. He'd still give her coffee, albeit with the usual lecture, he'd still fix her sink when it got clogged…

_Except things had changed_, Lorelai lamented dejectedly.

She'd just been hit head on with almost ten years of suppressed feelings for Luke. She was screwed. Everything was different now. You can't just go back after finally admitting something like that to yourself. Nothing would ever be the same… She wanted him. She _wanted_ him. Lorelai wanted Luke! And he didn't want her. Or maybe he did. But he wanted Nicole. Kids with Nicole. But everyone said he wanted Lorelai…

Gah, Lorelai cursed herself inwardly. Yet another vicious cycle. If she kept torturing herself with things like this, Rory'd have to call in the guys with straightjackets by the end of the night.

So she knew what she had to do. She had to see Luke. She had to know what he was talking about.

Without a moment's worth of hesitation, and despite the utter exhaustion she'd been complaining about earlier, Lorelai leapt up from her seat on the couch and dashed to the door without a word. She shoved her feet in a pair of old sneakers and grabbed a coat in record time. In seconds, she was outside, sprinting at practically full tilt towards the diner.

Back in the living room of the house, Rory barely realized that Lorelai had left – it had all happened so quickly. It only registered when she heard the front door slam behind her mother and the pounding footsteps as Lorelai took off down the porch stairs. Hurrying over to the window, Rory was clueless as to what had gotten into her mom. She'd been acting bizarre since the whole breakup/cats/phone call incident, which Rory just figured was just Lorelai dealing with everything in her own Lorelai way. But tonight was approaching Twilight Zone proportions. And it was just getting stranger, Rory noted, peering out the window in time to see Lorelai disappear around the corner at the end of the street. Where the hell was she going? Rory wondered. If all her mom's craziness was related to that phone conversation, then fine. That made sense. But from the content of that same conversation, Rory'd figured that not a whole lot of people, if any, knew about all that baby stuff. So who could Lorelai possibly be running to about all this stuff? Sookie? Maybe… But it was late, and Davey was there, and wouldn't that just be opening up the can of worms all over again?

Rory sighed, giving up. She couldn't help her mom if she didn't want to be helped. And pulling a Speedy Gonzales and jetting out the door in a cloud of dust wasn't exactly a sign of wanting to be helped by the very person choking on the very dust you'd just left behind. With a furrowed brow, Rory plopped back into her spot on the couch for the rest of the movie.

Out on the street, Lorelai had made it barely a quarter of the way to Luke's before she remembered that she was a Gilmore, and that Gilmores don't run, or do anything else that could be perceived as athletic. She couldn't breathe very well, her heart was pounding out of her chest… Not that that was new – she'd felt that ever since she'd discovered that she wanted Luke. But now her legs were burning too, and she wasn't fond of that feeling. So she slowed to a brisk walk, peppered with a few bouncy shuffles that might be mistaken for a jog. It was the happy medium between the running giving her a heart attack in the middle of the street and the crazy Luke-feeling-confusion giving her a heart attack in the middle of the street, which would be the case if she went too slow and had to think about him anymore without seeing him.

When the diner finally came into view, Lorelai picked up the pace again slightly. She could just make out Luke and his flannel-clad form vigorously rubbing at the counter. It was late – he must have just closed up and begun cleaning.

Her breath caught in her throat at the sight. Seeing him just exhilarated her that much more. She dashed up the step to the diner and banged violently on the door. Without even waiting for his reaction, she tried the door handle in case he hadn't locked it yet. He hadn't. So she barged in, the tiny bell above the door no match for the flourish with which she entered.

Behind the counter, Luke paused momentarily, looking up in only slight annoyance as he transferred his scrubbing rag to his other hand. Lorelai flying into his place in late-night caffeine withdrawal as he was closing up was nothing out of the ordinary. Especially given that it was Friday – he practically expected her to need coffee after having sat through whatever it was that went on at her parent's house on Fridays.

What Luke didn't know is that Lorelai hadn't been to her parents that night. Or that that wasn't the only difference about this particular late-Friday diner visit.

Lorelai froze as soon as she was in the door. She had no game plan, she had no idea what to say – which wasn't often the case for her. What the hell was she doing?

While she couldn't straighten out in her head what she wanted to say, her mouth seemed to know enough to get her point across. Before she could stop herself, Lorelai had unceremoniously sputtered out the last thing Luke had expected to hear, "You said 'at least I had a kid.'"

Hearing that, Luke just shrugged and went back to wiping off the counter with a bland "Yeah" for a response. He didn't read too much into anything, so he couldn't really see anything out of the ordinary about Lorelai's statement, or his from the other day.

It was the deafening silence that radiated from Lorelai that caught him off guard. That was the unusual thing. He stopped his cleaning again, looking up to see what could possibly be wrong that was causing Lorelai to be quieter than he'd ever heard her in his life.

Lorelai just stood there gaping at him. She still had no plan, still had no idea what to do or how to react, especially to the utterly nonchalant admission by Luke that he did, in fact, say what she thought she'd heard. So she said nothing and just stared.

Slightly uncomfortable with the air that their conversation – or non-conversation – had taken on, Luke tried to coax Lorelai back into 'normal' mode by reaffirming the obvious, "You did have a kid."

Still no response.

"Rory…" Luke reminded Lorelai incredulously. _What the hell was going on with her?_

Hearing Rory's name, for whatever reason seemed to trigger something in Lorelai, bringing her back to some semblance of her normal self. "I…" She stuttered initially, having regained the capacity to speak, but still not knowing exactly what to say. So resorted again back to the basics. Go with what you know. So she confirmed Luke's last words, "Yes, Rory. I know."

Luke was still baffled by the absurdity of their dialogue. Not that Lorelai hadn't pulled some insane conversations out of thin air before, but this one wasn't even her normal weird. "So?" He asked, eyebrows raised in confusion.

"And you don't have a kid," Lorelai stated, as if waiting for Luke's confirmation that they were not in some sort of alternate universe in which he was Stars Hollow's very own version of Mike Brady.

Still perplexed as to the purpose of the conversation, Luke gave up trying to figure it out and simply answered Lorelai, "Not human or otherwise, no." Pulling out a broom from the corner, he continued with a deadpan, "A goat in the diner would violate state health codes."

_So it _was_ a goat that kid meant… Focus!_ Lorelai scolded mentally. "I'm not talking about goats, Luke. I'm serious."

"Sorry…" Luke raised his hands in mock apologetic defeat before going back to sweeping up the floor.

Lorelai bit her lip, watching him, pondering her next move. Eventually, she just spit out exactly what she'd said not five minutes earlier, "You said 'at least I had a kid.'"

Practically dropping the broom, Luke turned to face her, raising his voice in exasperation, "Did we not go over this already?"

"Luke!" Lorelai screeched back with equal force, "You said 'at least I had a kid.'" She forced herself to calm down slightly, knowing there was no way things were going to work if it was just the two of them screaming at each other. "Now, maybe this is just me being crazy, which, yes, I agree can be the case sometimes," she added honestly, "But when I said at least you got married, I was thinking, hey, Luke got married. Seems like a swell thing to do, wish I had. Stupid me, I assumed that you saying at least I had a kid meant you actually wanted a kid." Finishing her last sentence quickly, Lorelai did her best to look contrite, and braced herself for whatever Luke-rant was sure to come her way.

None did.

For Luke saw no flaws in her logic, or any reason to be offended by her words. It _had_ been what he meant. Sure, he hadn't necessarily intended to admit it to Lorelai, or anyone, but he had, so he was prepared to deal with whatever teasing and Dr. Phil references she felt like aiming at him. It was his own fault for letting the sentiment slip; he'd handle the repercussions. So he gave another shrug of admission, and said only, "And?"

Lorelai was shell-shocked. She blinked a few times, positive she couldn't have actually heard that confirmation directly from Luke's mouth. "You do?" She stammered in disbelief.

"Yeah, I guess." Yet another shrug from the man of few words, as he continued to sweep the floor, unaware of the magnitude of the implications of his words, at least as Lorelai saw it.

The world was spinning around her… Kids, Rory, goats, Luke, Jason, cats… Luke again… She had no coherent thoughts – as much as she wanted it to be true, she just couldn't believe that he was telling her all of this to her face. Everything was changing too quickly… It was too much to process. The same whirlwind of emotion she'd just experienced back at the house was back, full-blast. All she could do was blurt the first thing that came to mind as, once again, she tried to comprehend Luke wanting kids, "But you hate jam hands!"

Luke eyed Lorelai with wary concern. She was definitely not acting normal, even for her. What the hell was with the random outbursts and the kid-talk? Was the stress of the inn finally getting to her? He spoke cautiously, as if questioning both her and himself, so as to not set her off any more than she already was, "So I won't let 'em eat jam?" He trailed off, not sure of what to expect next.

Barely having heard Luke's words, Lorelai continued, still trying to convince herself that it couldn't all be working out – Luke couldn't really mean he wanted kids… "And you said your kid discussion would be short."

That statement ended up confusing Luke even more than Lorelai herself was. Kid discussion? This little revelation of… full-blown fatherly desires… was all pretty new to even himself, so he didn't recall ever having 'the kid discussion' with anyone, not with Nicole, not with Rachel, never mind with Lorelai Gilmore. "Huh?"

"At the dance thing, before Sookie and Jackson had Davey…" Lorelai explained impatiently, annoyed that he couldn't seem to remember something that was so vitally important to her at that very moment, regardless of the fact that she probably wouldn't have remembered it out of the blue on a normal day either. "You said your kid discussion would be short," she insisted.

_Right… _Luke vaguely recalled something along those lines, but he also remembered chalking it up to glue fumes and sleep deprivation not long afterward. He didn't really see how any of this concerned Lorelai anyway, but rather than try and point that out and end up agitating her further, he figured honesty would be the best policy at the moment. "Look, I said there'd be a discussion. Being married got me thinking, maybe the discussion wouldn't be so short," he stated frankly. Not that he'd wanted a kid with Nicole, per se, but there were times when he regretted not getting to that point with her wile he still had the chance. At least he'd have gotten every other weekend and some holidays out of the deal.

Unfortunately for Lorelai, Luke had spoken the truth, just not all of it. All she got to hear was 'married.' _Married…_ Luke may as well have smacked her in the face, punched her in the stomach, and then stabbed her right through the heart – That's exactly how it felt to have her worst fears validated. He'd only wanted kids because he was married to Nicole… "Married," she repeated aloud, dumbstruck and trying to bite back tears. "Married to Nicole."

Luke remained oblivious to the effect the underlying meaning of his words was having on Lorelai. He was more concerned with finishing up his cleaning and sending her on her merry way so he could head upstairs to bed. Plus he was getting a little annoyed at Lorelai's behavior and bizarre line of questioning. "Nicole was my wife, yes…" He grunted patronizingly.

And Lorelai certainly didn't miss the insinuation in his tone of voice. Just another twist to the knife that was already in there…"Huh," she said to no one in particular. Covertly, as Luke bent down to sweep crumbs into a dustpan, she swiped at the few tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes and gave a little sniffle. What else could she do? Trying to process the fact that Luke had just squished her hopes like a bug, she let out a shaky "Ok."

With him growing more and more annoyed, Luke's reply came more as a bark, "What?"

When no immediate reply came, Luke turned and looked up at her, squinting at her for a moment, wondering for half a second if she looked upset. _Must have just been the lighting…_

"Nothing," Lorelai muttered, hoping that she still looked ok, so she could at least retain some of her pride. A little more defiantly, she continued, "I just never knew you'd changed your mind about wanting kids."

"Was I supposed to send out a newsletter?" Luke snapped bitterly. He was tired, cranky, and not in the mood for Lorelai's nosing into his private life. She couldn't tell after the other morning that relationships and kids were a sore spot that he definitely didn't want to talk about?

Lorelai recoiled at his harsh words. She could feel whatever chance she may have had with him slipping farther and farther away… "No, no, I just…" She trailed off sadly, defeated. "Never mind."

"That's it?" Luke had hit the boiling point. The rant began. "You came here to see if I wanted kids? What the hell does it matter to you, Lorelai? So you can tell me I need even more Dr. Phil books now?"

He could have yelled for longer, but Lorelai had interrupted, mounting her own weak defense as she shrank away from him, "No, Luke, no, I…"

"Well?" He demanded angrily, "What then?"

"Uh, coffee?" Lorelai offered timidly. "You know me, that's always why I come here," she joked warily, hoping to stave off any further yelling. She wouldn't be able to handle that. Luke didn't react, so she spoke again, "Yeah, um, just needed a caffeine fix before you closed I guess..."

Luke finally did move to go grab a to-go cup, though it still appeared that he was steaming more than the coffee was.

Lorelai closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was all her fault. She'd gone crazy, and now he was mad. And she didn't want that. "Luke I'm sorry," she began ruefully, "I thought that…" She couldn't actually tell him what she'd thought. "Well, I guess none of it is really any of my business. So, I'm sorry." She finished her apology candidly, hoping it was enough for him.

Had she been watching Luke, and not her own clasped hands, she'd have seen his shoulders drop as he fiddled with the coffee pot. He knew he'd been a little out of line as well. It was just a touchy subject for him… And he hated being angry at Lorelai. Turning back around to face her, she slid the coffee cup towards her, as he spoke his own words in acceptance of her apology, "Forget it."

When Lorelai remained silent, and didn't even take a drink from the cup, all angriness was forgotten on Luke's part as it dawned on him that she still was acting strangely for Lorelai. Concerned, he questioned her gently, or as gently as he could manage, "You ok?"

_No…_ "Yeah," Lorelai replied unconvincingly, as he gaze met Luke's. She couldn't be sure how long she just stared at him, but she was positive that it had been far longer than appropriate. And even then, she'd only stopped because the coffee aroma wafting up in her face reminded her that she needed to pay for said coffee. But she hadn't thought to grab her purse in her mad dash out the door…

Rooting around in her pockets, she managed to dig up a crumpled dollar bill and a few coins. "Oh, here…" She slid them across the counter, as if they payment was a peace offering and a return to normal Luke-Lorelai standing.

With the slightest of smiles and a shake of his head, Luke slid the money back to her, "Just take it, I'd be throwing it out anyway."

Lorelai returned the smile, if it was a bit forced. "Thanks." Stuffing the money back into her pocket, she grabbed the coffee and made her way out of the diner without another word.

Luke eyed her curiously as she left, momentarily trying to figure out what all of that had been about before turning to head upstairs. Had he watched just a little longer, he'd have seen Lorelai toss the cup of coffee into a garbage can on the street without ever having taken a sip.

Lorelai didn't even remember the walk back to her house. Before she knew it, she was trudging up the front steps, her cheeks damp with tears. Exhaustion, both mental and physical, had set in and all she wanted to do was go upstairs and cry herself to sleep. She'd have to move on in the morning. Real life – Rory, and the inn, her parents' separation, and everything else – had to take precedence over whatever it was that had just happened that evening. She was resilient, she was a pro at ignoring all sorts of emotional turmoil. As far as Luke knew, nothing had changed. And that's exactly how she'd have to play it tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and forever… But she needed one night to cry over what could have been – what she'd thought she'd had for about an hour, only to have it torn away from her because he wanted Nicole…

With a sigh, Lorelai pushed the door open dejectedly, not even bothering to try and hide her appearance from Rory. If she saw her, she saw her. She deserved to know how pathetic her mother was, didn't she?

Her question, fortunately, didn't get answered that night, for Rory had fallen asleep at some point during one of her movies and stirred only slightly as Lorelai made her way up the stairs.

She didn't even bother to change out of her clothes before crawling under the covers, as she begged the gods of sleep to put her out of her misery and let her fall asleep without thinking anymore about Luke, or kids, or the inn…

Thankfully, it worked, and before many more tears fell, she was in a deep, dreamless slumber, the chaos in her mind finally having worn her out.

**To be continued**


	3. And Now For The Possibility

**_Eggs, goats, and possibility, part 3_**

**See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.**

**First, I really want to thank everyone who has replied to this story or "And So It Goes." Getting these comments is wonderful, especially given that some of you are amazing writers in your own right, whom I respect very much.**

**Anyway, I'm back from my hiatus, caught up on episode watching, and am back to finish this story, and perhaps weave new ones in my overactive imagination…**

**This final segment takes place at the very end of the episode, where, in real TV land, Luke has already seen Lorelai's face and has just asked her to his sister's wedding. In my fictitious Gilmore-land, Lorelai beat him to it and saw his face first. She however, is under the impression that nothing can come of it, accounting for her 'normal' attitude in the episode, post-what-would-have-been-my-second-chapter.**

**I hope you've all enjoyed this, my first foray in to Gilmore Girls fan fiction. I certainly have… **

**Parting words from the audience would certainly be welcomed :) **

**(Ideas from readers for future stories are also welcome – I have a number of little scenes running around my head, but no coherent plots to speak of… I think there's only so many episode continuations readers can take, but I may have to resort to that… My email is on my profile if anyone wants to offer suggestions. I may use them, I may not, but ideas can't hurt.)**

After climbing into her car, Lorelai just sat there for a moment quietly. She wore an expression somewhere between the pleasant satisfaction of finally figuring out where her lost keys were after an entire day after hours of painstaking re-tracing of steps and the wide-eyed surprise of the classic deer-in-the-headlights. Simply put, she was completely and utterly puzzled. Dumbfounded. Stupefied… And every other synonym that Rory would surely know, that she, Lorelai, certainly did not.

_What, in the name of all she owned that was pink or fuzzy, had just happened?_

Luke – _Luke!_ – had just asked her… _out_? Or to Liz's wedding? Was there a difference, she wondered?

As she heard Luke's truck pull away from behind her jeep, Lorelai didn't know whether to laugh, cry, throw up, or run straight to the mall for the sexiest, most flattering, slightly fruity Renaissance dress she could find. They did bustiers and corsets back then didn't they, she grinned to herself wickedly. Maybe Luke would like that…

"Gah!" That line of thought stopped abruptly as she realized what she was doing. Exactly what she had done the other night when she ran to the diner in the middle of one of Rory's movies – getting completely ahead of herself. She had no way to know what Luke had meant when he'd asked her to Liz's wedding. As much as she'd have liked it to be _something_, odds are he was just being a friend, that sweet guy that most of Stars Hollow didn't really get to experience, and that he really was just offering her a break. And nothing more.

He probably figured that her little scene in the diner the other night was just a mini-breakdown as a result of all the stress from inn preparations, and now he was giving her the chance to take a mental health day. Hell, he was probably doing it as much for himself as he was for her – he'd acted normal enough yesterday morning in the diner, the morning after her breakthrough-slash-breakdown, as she had dubbed it. Luke was surely not a fan of the crazy after hours visits from her, complete with tears, so giving her a rest was likely actually more self-preservation than anything else, Lorelai realized, now that she'd actually thought about it.

The goofy confused grin she'd been sporting was quickly fading.

No Lorelai, that was not a little glimmer of hope there, when you thought you heard Luke stutter, and then stumble as he walked back to his car. It was not some cutesy scene that could be likened to a ten year old boy shyly, awkwardly asking a girl to be his girlfriend for the very first time… That was Luke skittishly hoping not to set Lorelai off and running towards tears again as he offered her an out from her inn craziness. That's all the awkward fumbling over words came from. And nowhere else.

Lorelai sighed audibly. Well, she comforted herself, at least she wasn't going to let herself get all worked up over nothing this time…

Which she wasn't. Once she had slept off all the insane emotions of her late night visit to the diner the other day, she thought it through thoroughly. She was thirty-six, still single, and she didn't like it. And now she liked Luke. But she wasn't what he wanted. And she was going to have to force herself to live with that. It had taken a bit of effort and a lot of Ben and Jerry's, but Lorelai had finally made some sort of internal peace with the fact that, despite everything else, she had a lot to be happy about. Rory was amazing, her dream of an inn was on the verge of being realized, she lived in a great town, had amazing friends… If a husband and more kids happened, so be it. But if it didn't, she'd convinced herself that she could deal with that too.

And she could deal with Luke just being her diner guy, her caffeine supplying buddy. That part was a little harder; it would take a little more work…

Seeing Sookie and Jackson all cuddled up and couple-y in the zucchini patch had made her heart ache a little. They were, after all, what she wanted to be with Luke. The sparring-friends-turned-picture-perfect-happy-little-family. But it wasn't going to happen – she'd reaffirmed that to herself as she'd lain there under the stars last night. And she couldn't _- wouldn't_ _- _allow herself to dwell on what she didn't have. It just wasn't worth it.

So even as she'd been walking back to her jeep not ten minutes ago, she'd forced herself to focus on the inn, thinking about all the great things that could come of it.

Then Bam, Luke. Out of nowhere. Asking her to a wedding. Which might have been something. But probably wasn't…

"Ugh!" Lorelai let out a frustrated wail and laid her head down between her hands on the steering wheel. She was getting so sick of herself! Turning everything little thing into something it's not, everything becoming this huge emotional _thing_ in her mind. She vowed last night, as she was lying there looking at Sookie and Jackson sleep, that she wouldn't dwell on this crap anymore.

Stupid Luke and the stupid wedding! She cursed under her breath. She'd been fine, getting her crazy head and emotions back to normal, just going back to her car, just wanting to go home and shower, and he had to mess with her mind yet again…

But it was nothing. "Just a friend, Gilmore," she told herself aloud, as if hearing her own voice say it might give it more credence. Just good old friendly Luke…

Catching some movement out of the corner of her eye, Lorelai jerked her head up from its perch on the steering wheel. Sookie was standing in her front window, staring quizzically at Lorelai still sitting in her parked jeep.

_Jesus Christ,_ Lorelai wondered, how _long had she been sitting there?_ Sookie was already in new clothes, her hair obviously damp from a shower.

Not wanting to explain anything to anyone, lest it shake her tenuous newfound emotional stability, Lorelai quickly threw the jeep into gear and with a wave of her hand to placate her confused friend in the window, she was on her way.

All Lorelai had intended to do upon leaving Sookie's place was to go home, pluck the remaining straw from her tangled hair, and take a shower before heading to the inn. Yet somehow, completely unwittingly, Lorelai found herself maneuvering the jeep into a parking spot in front of the diner.

_What the hell was she doing?_ She didn't want to see Luke now… Or maybe she did. "Stupid, stupid crazy brain," she muttered to herself. And stupid Luke for throwing another wrench into the plans, what with all this asking to weddings… She'd finally convinced herself that she was on an ok place with all that had happened. And she'd force herself to be fine with having good old Luke to just serve her coffee.

_And that's exactly what he still is_, she reminded herself, _good old Luke, pourer of coffee_. Just because his little question this morning made those stupid butterflies in her stomach flutter up a storm big enough to spawn F5 tornadoes, it didn't mean he was on the same page. Or did it? No matter how hard she tried, the one little thing she couldn't explain away was the fact that Luke had sought her out in Sookie's vegetable patch, very, very early in the morning to ask her to the stupid wedding. Luke may have been an early riser, but at the very least, her usual diner arrival times should have clued him into the fact that she certainly was not. And if, however unlikely a scenario it was, if ever she did chose to heed the incessant beep of an early alarm, it was even less likely that she'd do it while snoozing in a friend's garden. So for Luke to have found her at Sookie's required a bit of determination and urgency on his part. _That_, she was having a little trouble explaining away. She let out a little sigh as she let her head come to rest on the steering wheel once again.

Those stupid little quiz things that always popped up in Cosmo, or whatever other random magazine that would show up in her shopping baskets, always seemed to ask whether she considered herself an optimist or a pessimist. Lorelai never knew what to put. Sure her outward appearance to most of Stars Hollow would surely have her pegged as the eternal, if not overly quirky, sunny optimist. What had thus far escaped most of the nosy townspeople was the fact that her experiences with a high-society Hartford family, both in the past and more recent ones, had left certain parts of her more than a little jaded. Add to that the perpetual failures on the romance-slash-happily-ever-after front, and it very well could be enough ammo for any amateur psychoanalyst to stamp a big 'Pessimistic Cynic' in big red letters across her forehead. Then again, if you dug a little deeper, there was always that childish hope she always seemed to hang on to. The one that she always wanted to believe, the one that told her everything would surely turn out ok in the end…

Well, in her current predicament, pessimistic cynic had a huge lead – Luke wanted nothing to do with her other than to serve her coffee, use her as fodder for his periodic rants, and give her a little mental health break by bringing her to the wedding…

Hopeful childish optimist, however, just wouldn't be completely squelched – Luke has been pining for her, wants to have a family with her, and is just using the wedding as the starting block for a fairy-tale romance…

Sometimes Lorelai really hated hopeful childish optimist.

Either way, she realized, catching a glimpse of the clock only a few inched from her eyes, she'd once again been sitting in her car talking to herself for far longer than was probably healthy. Which just fortified that fact that she was in dire need of coffee. So the Luke-dilemma was temporarily sent to the back burner, completely overpowered by the caffeine desperation at hand.

Climbing out of the jeep, Lorelai caught sight of Lane up the sidewalk, apron and all, as she was heading to work.

"Lane!" She cried, "Need coffee!"

Lane, not at all thrown off by the manner in which this particular coffee request had come – it was Lorelai, after all – just grinned, "Sure Lorelai, it's ready when you are."

"Bless you my child!" Coffee would help clarify things for her poor little brain. Or at least that's what Lorelai was betting on as she reached bag into the jeep to snag her purse before heading into the diner.

She'd almost made it to the entrance – a mere ten feet away from the beloved caffeine – when she heard her name from behind her.

"Lorelai! I thought I heard your name!" Liz rushed up to Lorelai with an enthusiasm that should not have been legal at that early hour.

Mustering up a polite smile, Lorelai greeted her with a slightly forced, though cheerful, "Hey Liz." After all, it wasn't Liz's fault that she was getting married and that her stupid brother had to come along to mess with Lorelai's mind, and heart, again…

"Oh Lorelai, did you see that little guy over there?" Liz gestured animatedly down the street in the direction she'd just come from. "Wasn't he just the cutest little thing?"

Glancing to see who exactly Liz was referring to, Lorelai caught sight of some woman, whose name she probably knew at some point but didn't care enough to try and recall now, showing off the contents of the stroller she was pushing. And unless she was as cracked as Babette, odds are it was a kid in the stroller. A baby… "Yeah, sure." This time Lorelai's words to Liz were curt. She couldn't take out her frustration over Luke on Liz simply because it was her wedding, but she'd already reserved the right to play the bitch card to anyone who shoved the kid issue in her face…

"Oh babies are just so adorable, aren't they?" Liz gushed on, unaware of Lorelai's less than receptive initial response to the baby conversation, "They're so little and fat, with their tiny shoes and their tiny clothes…"

"Yup." Lorelai replied shortly, trying to cut Liz off and give her an out before she was forced to strangle her to shut her up.

Liz still took no notice of Lorelai's apparent aversion to all things baby, and continued to gaze down the street at the stroller. "Oh hey!" She exclaimed suddenly, turning back to Lorelai. "You know Jess!"

Bitter, bitchy, baby-less Lorelai was caught off guard by what seemed to be a complete non-sequitur. Her nasty façade fell by the wayside quickly, as all she could do was give a quizzical stare, and stammer out with a confused, "Uh yeah, I guess." _What the hell did Jess have to do with anything?_

"So I can ask you," was Liz's gleeful reply.

Lorelai was still stumped. Raised eyebrows and a questioning shake of her head went along with her "Ask me…"

Liz gestured for Lorelai to move closer, before whispering conspiratorially, "You think Jess would like a little brother or sister?" She beamed excitedly in anticipation of Lorelai's response.

Lorelai shrank back from Liz, her breath whooshing out of her in a floored, "Wha?" So Jess _wasn't_ a complete non-sequitur… After a kid like Jess, Liz wanted _more_? And _now_? She had to want more kids _now_? Lorelai wondered incredulously if the entire universe wasn't conspiring against her to rub everything in her face and make her miserable…

"Oh yeah, I think he'd just do so great with a little kid," Liz confirmed wistfully, "He's really just a softie, my Jess, he tries to be all tough and leather and all that intellectual book stuff, but I think he'd be great with a little tiny brother or sister…" She trailed off, obviously imagining the pretty family picture – ludicrous to anyone with half a brain – of Jess Mariano being cute and cuddly with a small sibling.

Lorelai shook her head, still trying to process not only the fact that she was once again being bombarded with the idea of kids she'd never had, but also trying to wrap her mind around Jess with any kid whatsoever. Never mind the thought of TJ's offspring_… Oh God, TJ!_ Lorelai grimaced inwardly at the thought of that man ever reproducing. For the good of Stars Hollow and mankind in general, she felt she had to verify whether or not such a travesty was already on the way. Cautiously, trying not to show her obvious disdain at such a thought, Lorelai broke the silence, posing the awkward question, "So are you and TJ…"

"Oh not yet, just thinking about it, you know. We're not even married yet! Not that that stopped me before. Or hey, you either, actually!" Liz laughed, "I just see a little baby like that and I want another 5 kids, and now with TJ… I don't want to be an old fart mom, you know?"

Lorelai pursed her lips, set her jaw, and looked away, biting back a fresh round of tears. Willing herself not to agree with Liz out loud, she tried in vain to tune her out. She knew that feeling, that exact feeling… She just didn't really need Liz, or anyone else, to be let in on it. Sure, Rory had dragged her kicking and screaming into a few admissions the other day, but that's where it stopped.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it, Liz remained oblivious to everything but her own enthusiastic agenda, and took Lorelai's silence to mean she didn't understand the previous statement. So she elaborated, driving home the point that Lorelai already knew so well, "You know, the moms who are already wrinkly, old, and gray when they're sitting at the kids t-ball game or teacher conference? The ones who are like forty-five when they have the kid… I don't want to be that mom. So I don't have much time left. And I think Jess would love brothers and sisters…" Liz trailed off, now wearing an expression very much similar to Lorelai's.

At the point, Liz's sentiments so close to her own, Lorelai could do nothing but let out an involuntary "Yeah…" of agreement.

Luckily for both women, before the sense of melancholy hung in the air any longer, Liz's volatile personality took over, and she pulled a complete 180 within seconds, letting out a shriek of excitement, "Ooh, or a cousin! If I could just find someone for Luke then we could have a baby around and I could skip the whole diaper part too!"

Lorelai practically did a double-take, not sure she'd actually heard Liz say what she said, "What?"

Liz continued on animatedly, unfazed by Lorelai's interjection, "Or Luke and I could both have a kid or something, and then the cousins would be the same age, and they could grow up together…"

"Luke?" Lorelai questioned in disbelief, _Liz thought Luke would have kids?_

"Oh yeah," Liz nodded emphatically, "I mean I never even met the wife, but I was so happy when I found out he had finally gotten married. I knew he'd have her poppin' 'em out in no time if he got his way," Liz chuckled at her own crass description of childbirth, and even Lorelai had to crack a half-smile, unable to picture Nicole, prim, proper attorney-at-law, ever 'poppin'' out anyone's kids.

Liz's tone then took a more somber note as she continued regretfully, "Too bad with the whole divorce thing, now he's back at square one, so he's not having any kids for a while. Lucky though, you know, guys can have kids until they're practically dead, no time limit for them. So he's good as long as he doesn't keep this diner hermit thing up forever. We had such a good time growing up together, you know, brother and sister, so if he had a bunch of kids and TJ and I have a bunch more kids, then it's like one big happy family, you know?"

"The Waltons all over again," Lorelai snapped curtly. She knew she was being rude, but she just couldn't help it… _Forget Kirk, even TJ – _TJ!_ - was going to get the happy ending now?_

"Yeah…" Liz sighed, again not noticing any ounce of resentment in Lorelai's voice.

"So…" Lorelai's initial intent was to change the subject completely, and bring it back to much more comfortable territory. But she could not, for the life of her, get past the fact that Liz was so sure Luke wanted kids. It just didn't add up… How could Liz be so privy to something so new for Luke? "I'm sorry Liz," she began haltingly, "But you said Luke really wants kids? And you thought he was going to have them with Nicole?"

Even a few added hand gestures did nothing to clue Liz in to the confusion Lorelai was feeling at the moment. Liz didn't even flinch as she replied nonchalantly, "Oh sure, Luke loves kids. Always has."

Lorelai couldn't be bothered with trying to be subtle anymore – her jaw dropped as she asked incredulously, "Luke?" She'd had gotten the impression from Luke the night before that this whole father thing was very recent – just a result of his relationship with Nicole. And as far as she knew, Luke and Liz weren't the kind of siblings that shared stories about family planning with each other, especially in recent years. _How was it that Liz could have Luke pegged for such a family man?_

Liz had paid no mind to Lorelai's astonishment at her assumptions about Luke's reproductive future, and kept right on babbling about Luke and kids, and everything being all hunky-dory… It was only when Lorelai caught another mention of Jess' name that she focused again on what Liz was saying, "… with kids. Oh, except for when I'd have Jess around when he was little. Luke didn't really like him too much. Jess was kind of a bad little kid you know?"

"Really?" Despite her emotional tumult, Lorelai had to let out a sarcastic snort at the fact that Liz felt she needed to explain that Jess was a bad kid.

"Well yeah," Liz conceded, "But it's good that he's doing so well now."

_Is this woman completely clueless_, Lorelai had to wonder as Liz continued speaking.

"But yeah, Luke was so great with kids, always helping with the little baseball teams, and the summer camps when he was in high school."

"You're kidding," Lorelai was shocked. She was having a tough time picturing a high school-aged Luke, never mind one that was great with kids.

"No way," Liz scoffed, "He was a counselor for this little camp the elementary school had for all the town's kids who couldn't afford the regular fancy sleep-away camps, did it for four year or something. Always got voted best counselor. Those little brats worshipped him, and he gave them piggyback rides, taught games, did arts and crafts. Oh they loved him. And he loved it too, always said he couldn't wait to have kids." Before she spoke again, Liz leaned in towards Lorelai conspiratorially, "I think that was actually one of the things that scared that Rachel girl of his off the first time. She heard him talking about all that and hightailed it out of here faster than Luke could run those hurdles in track." As an afterthought, she added "And he was a state champ at that you know…" for a little extra emphasis.

"Huh…" Lorelai muttered under her breath.

_What happened to the jam hands? What happened to it being his marriage that got him thinking about kids?_ Here she was herself wishing she could have kids with this man, and she hadn't even really known where he actually stood on the issue… Then again, was Liz, the woman marrying TJ, _really_ such a reliable source?

Her poor brain in more upheaval than she'd ever wanted, Lorelai was reduced to nonsensical stammering, "But he… Luke never mentioned stuff like that. I didn't know… I never even thought he wanted kids, until…" Lorelai caught herself in what she thought was enough time. She quickly rephrased, lest Liz start prying about the 'until.' "I never thought he wanted kids. He told me he didn't…"

As quickly as the words came out, Lorelai already regretted them. She'd let another one slip, and she scrunched up her face in anticipation of the exuberant reaction Liz would surely have.

And there it was, Liz's ear piercing shrieks of glee, "You and Luke talked about having kids? Oh, Star's Hollow's own Will and Grace! Oh my god!" Liz grabbed Lorelai's hands and was practically bouncing up and down, slowing only to add a slight correction to what she'd just yelled, "Except he's not gay, and Will and Grace never even had the kid…"

Fervently glancing up and down the sidewalks, Lorelai was relieved to see that there didn't seem to be any signs of Miss Patty, or Babette, or anyone else who could have taken what Liz just said and blown it way out of proportion. Nevertheless, she did have to calm Liz down before anyone heard, "No, Liz, no, not like… No," Lorelai pressed urgently. "It just kind of came up when someone else was having a kid. We never… No." She shook her head with an air of finality, hoping that Liz would finally get the message.

She did, and immediately gushed her apologies with overzealous contrition, "Oh look at me, all crazy and jumping to conclusions, I'm sorry Lorelai. Sometimes I wonder how a guy as great as TJ can ever put up with crazy old me…"

For that, Lorelai had no response – she had no idea how anyone could really put up with her or TJ for very long, "Well, I, uh…"

"But oh yeah," Liz waved her hands emphatically as she jumped back to the previous issue, "Don't let anything Luke says fool you. Did he use the jam hands excuse?" She narrowed her eyes knowingly in the direction of the diner.

"Yeah, actually…" Lorelai admitted, impressed that Liz knew Luke well enough to know about the jam. _Maybe she knew what she was talking about after all…_

"Oh, he always says that one," Liz scoffed, "It's just that lonely single man thing, pretending like he hates kids because he doesn't have any of his own yet. Luke loves kids. He'll be such a great father if he ever finds the right girl…" She trailed off pensively before jumping back to life and pointing a finger accusingly at Lorelai, "Hey, you single now?"

"What?" Lorelai gasped, caught off guard by the insinuation.

"Oh calm down," Liz laughed, "I'm just teasing you Lorelai, I've heard about you and your fancy rich lawyer guy." She raised her eyebrows shrewdly, obviously impressed by Lorelai's snagging of such a guy.

This time it was Lorelai who failed to heed the words of her fellow conversationalist, "No, I, uh, why?" She'd completely missed Liz's admission that she'd been joking, and instead was reeling from the ever-so-slim possibility that Luke could have mentioned her, Lorelai Gilmore, as a potential 'right girl' to his sister. Wide-eyed, she sputtered on, "Did he, uh, say…"

Liz waved her off again, "No, no, I'm just kidding."

After a pause on the part of both women, Liz added thoughtfully, "But don't think he'd ever say no to you if it ever came up, you know. The Will and Grace thing," she clarified. "Or anything else. He gave you the earrings." Liz gestured Lorelai's ears despite her wearing completely different earrings at that particular moment.

"Liz…" Lorelai protested as her hands flew up to her ears involuntarily, "I don't…" She fought off a growing blush on her cheeks even as she tried again to refute Liz's comment. As flattering as the such an idea was, and as much as she would have liked it to be true, it didn't really seem kosher to _not_ object…

"Oh God Lorelai, I'm sorry," Liz wailed, "I'm getting you all crazy and upset!" In a flurry of words long enough to make anyone doubt that she and monosyllabic Luke actually shared genetic material, Liz rambled on, hoping to undo any damage she'd already done, though not really succeeding, "You've got your lawyer rich guy to take care of you anyway. I'll just get out of here and stop saying all this crazy stuff. I have to go get my dress altered and stuff like that anyway… Oh, and now I'm talking about the wedding, and you're not invited… I'm so sorry Lorelai. I really like you and all, but TJ said we could only have 53 chairs, since that's his lucky number, and there just wasn't room for you, but I would have if we had more chairs…"

It was at that point that Lorelai jumped in to try and shut Liz up, not thinking about her words, "Actually, I'll be th…" _Again with the foot in the mouth!_ Lorelai felt like smacking herself… There was no backing out at that point, so she sucked it up and rephrased, "It's no problem Liz, I actually am going to be there."

Confused, Liz kept quiet, waiting for the explanation…

"Luke just asked me, to uh, come with him," Lorelai muttered quickly, bashfully.

"You're kidding!" Liz squealed in excitement, "I told him he had an extra seat, but he refused to bring anyone… I thought we were going to have to invite Kirk! I would have asked you if any seats turned out to be empty, but Kirk made an official waiting list for himself you know, and I didn't care, but then Luke said he wouldn't bring a date, but, ooh, now he's asked you, and he has a date." She ended abruptly, with her hands clasped together, suddenly starry-eyed at the thought of her big brother actually having a date.

"Date?" Lorelai asked curiously.

"Well yeah," came the reasoning from Liz, "That was his whole thing with not bringing anybody. He… How did he put it…" A pause as she disdainfully recalled her brother's rant, "'Didn't want to subject anyone to that horrific experience unless they were already romantically obligated to by already being in a relationship' or something crazy like that. But he asked you…" Liz pointed out to Lorelai, complete with a sing-song-y 'I told you so' voice.

"But I don't think he meant it as…" Lorelai trailed off unconvincingly, not sure who she was trying to persuade, Liz or herself.

Liz practically squeaked out her giddy retort, "I'm just telling you what he said…"

"Well, from what you said, maybe it means he really hates me and wants to make me suffer…" Lorelai quipped weakly, trying not to let her confusion show. Then realizing how what she just said must have sounded to Liz, she hastily tacked on a few more words, "Not, that, it'll be, uh, suffering or anything. Just in his mind, right. That's what he said, not me. I love Renaissance weddings." She forced a full-on smile, teeth and everything, to convince Liz how much she wouldn't be suffering at the wedding. _Not because of the wedding itself anyway, the platonic proximity to Luke might be another story…_

"I don't think he's doing it to make you suffer Lorelai," Liz smirked at both Lorelai's evasion of the obvious, and also her sickly sweet proclamation of her love for the Renaissance Fair life. And then her brow furrowed as she caught on to the one snag in the pretty picture she had been painting, "Oh wait, your lawyer guy…"

"Uh…" By that point, Lorelai simply had no idea what to say anymore, and decided to admit the truth. "Actually, I, uh, I'm not with Jason anymore."

"And Luke knows?" Liz demanded breathlessly.

"Yes," Lorelai nodded. "Yes, he does know that," she stated calmly, if a little reluctantly, "As of a couple days ago."

Liz squealed, her presumption having been proved enough for her, "Ooh, it is a date! I knew it! You're going to be the one having cousins for all my kids! You and Luke, and we'll be sisters, I always wanted a sister Lorelai!"

"Liz, I don't think…" Lorelai trailed off, at that point, more than overwhelmed by everything Liz was throwing at her.

Calming down a bit, Liz focused on Lorelai, speaking in the most down-to-earth voice Lorelai had yet to hear from her, "I know my big brother Lorelai. He find out you're single, and he's single, and he needs date, but only if it's a real date, and now he asked you… I know my big brother. He's serious about stuff like this." And as suddenly as the serious Liz has appeared, she was gone again, flighty Liz taking the reins once again. "Oh, I'm late for my dress fitting! Gotta go! See you at the wedding…" Liz waved at a dumbfounded Lorelai as she pranced away down the sidewalk. She'd already made it halfway down the block before she turned around, calling out, "And think about what I said! I'm always right about things like this!"

And that was that. Lorelai was left alone on the sidewalk to try and process the surreal conversation she'd just had. "Huh..."

When Liz had finally disappeared from sight, and Lorelai's frazzled mind could take no more, she took a deep breath and headed into the diner. It felt like it had been hours ago that she'd yelled her coffee order as she was climbing out of the car. Now even more desperate for a fix of caffeine, she quickly scanned the diner for Lane and said caffeine. Not seeing her, Lorelai slid onto a stool at the counter and let her mind drift back to Liz's insinuations as she waited patiently to be served.

She was just getting lost in her thoughts again when a large to-go cup suddenly appeared in front of her, "Coffee?"

Lorelai practically fell of the stool at sound of Luke's voice behind her. "Luke! Holy shit…" Her heart raced not only from the scare, but from the fact that, well, the fact that it was Luke.

Before she'd even had a chance to recover or even confirm that yes, of course she wanted coffee, a nagging voice chastised her from down the counter, "Language, Lorelai…"

Lorelai sent a withering glare towards the source as she responded in kind, "Sweater vests, Taylor…"

Luckily a glance down at his outfit left Taylor to sputter quietly, saving Lorelai from having to deal with him anymore. Turning back to Luke, with a far sweeter, more angelic expression than the one she'd just sported for Taylor, she nodded in acknowledgement of his proffered coffee.

Luke, appearing to be ever-so-slightly more smiley than normal - though Lorelai was sure she was just imagining that - poured the coffee sans usual lecture and even shrugged a bashful apology for sneaking up on her, "Sorry…"

Lorelai quickly downed a sip of coffee, practically moaning in ecstasy, choosing to answer Luke only once she had finally felt the surge of caffeine through her system. Once she did however, it was a carefully worded reply, "It's okay, you just surprised me. Lots on my mind."

"Chinese people?" Luke raised his eyebrows knowingly as he referred to Lorelai's quip about her ever-growing to-do list.

Lorelai tilted her head in surprise. He'd actually remembered something specific from her inane babble trail from yesterday… "Yeah," she smiled, somewhat touched that he'd actually paid attention to her.

And then Luke did something even more curious. He actually set the pot of coffee he held down on the counter and sat down on the stool next to Lorelai, even amidst the busy breakfast rush. He hesitated for a moment, hedging before he finally, nervously, spit out, "Look, I do think you need a break, but you know, you don't have to spend it with me." He twisted a rag around in his hands as he continued, "You don't have to come to Liz's wedding. Go shopping with Rory or something. Or just watch TV…"

A flash of panic crossed Lorelai's face for a split second as she immediately began to protest, "No, Luke, I want to come…" _How could he already be backing out on what wasn't even a date?_

Luke, apparently taking his cues from his equally clueless sister, paid no mind to Lorelai's objection to his backing out, and continued making any excuse he could think of to rescind the invitation he now felt incredibly silly about, "I mean, Caesar's off that day, so I don't want to have to leave Lane the whole time, and there's a delivery, so I probably shouldn't go. And even if I do, I can't meet you at you house anyway, so if you just…"

"I could meet you here," Lorelai interrupted abruptly.

Luke startled. _That _he heard. "What?" He just couldn't grasp that Lorelai could possibly be avoiding the out he was offering her.

"Luke, it's your sister's wedding. You have to go," Lorelai implored. "So I can meet you here." She desperately hoped that she was coming across as rational, and not as anxious as she truly was.

Rational as Lorelai's words may have actually been, Luke couldn't help still being skeptical. Surely she couldn't really want to go to the stupid wedding, and certainly not with him… "Nah, that's a really long break actually, all afternoon, if it's too much you should just do something else..." He stopped himself when his eyes met Lorelai's, a bizarre sense of urgency seeming to reach out from their bright blue depths.

"Luke, I want to go," Lorelai insisted with her intense gaze. "With you," she added, resolutely, "And I'll meet you here."

Taken aback at what he now recognized as true sincerity, Luke stammered less than gracefully, "Ok. So, uh, here. At two."

"Here at two," Lorelai grinned triumphantly in agreement, proud that she'd managed to hang on to… whatever this thing with Luke was. Her job was done, she had her coffee, all was well in the land of Gilmore, for the moment anyway, and she could finally go take a shower and wash the rest of the zucchini patch out of her hair.

She climbed down off her stool as Luke added his own closing remarks to the conversation and started back towards the kitchen.

"Ok then, here at two," He reiterated awkwardly as Lorelai's infectious smile caused him to crack one of his own. "It's a date." And then he was gone, having disappeared into the diner's kitchen to catch up on all the order's he'd been missing as he spoke with Lorelai.

His parting words didn't quite register in Lorelai's mind right away – call it her brain's version of a 3 second tape delay in case of wardrobe malfunctions. They did hit her, however, just as she reached the diner's door on her way out. "Date…" She echoed Luke in the barest of whispers as she whirled around to face the direction he had just gone. _Date?_

But Luke was gone, and Taylor was still there, and Patty and Babette were hovering, and Kirk was surely amidst the crowd somewhere… There would be no clarification of what exactly Luke had meant by date, not that morning.

Which left Lorelai, much to her dismay, once again utterly confused by where she now stood with Luke.

Date? It's a date, as in, the precursor to all things romantic, like Liz had been talking about?

Or, it's a date, as in the same words any two of the most homophobic of manly macho men could use when confirming the time and place for and oh-so-manly football game or beer run?

_Which was it Luke?_ Lorelai felt like running back in and screaming at him, sick and tired of the mind games she'd been playing with herself for the past few days. But Patty would have a field day with that little scene, no matter how it played out.

So she ix-nayed the whole yelling and violent wringing of Luke's neck idea and trudged over to the jeep instead. The duration of her short drive home was a mental tug of war between the rational and the emotional, that pessimistic cynic and the childish optimist. Should she believe Liz, and take Luke's mention of a 'date' in the way her heart wanted her to see it? Or should she go along with that stupid sensible side of her, and avoid setting herself up for heartbreak if it wasn't all it was built up to be? And did it really matter, when, as she'd managed to convince herself in Sookie's garden only a few hours earlier, that everything else in her life was amazing, Luke or no Luke?

_Yeah, that last one's probably the one to stick with Gilmore_, Lorelai admitted to herself as she pulled up in her driveway. She couldn't let it matter. The rest of the emotional crap was just too exhausting. Anything else that happened, she'd just deal with it as it came, she supposed…

Lorelai was still fairly deep in her contemplative daze when as she crossed the porch and let herself into the house. She tossed her purse and keys in the direction of the small desk near the foyer, but was only half sure that she'd actually hit her target. All she wanted to do what take that shower, wash Luke out of her hair – so to speak, and hopefully move on to a normal day. People in books and movies always seemed to have big clarifying, epiphany moments in the tub, so maybe it'd work for her too… She snorted skeptically at the thought, and began trudging up to the second floor in anticipation of a boring old regular non-life altering shower.

"Mom?" came a sleepy voice from the living room.

Lorelai nearly jumped out of her skin at the very unexpected sound of her daughter's voice, stumbling on the stairs as she cried out, "Jesus Rory!" Her hand flew to her chest as she struggled to catch her breath and lower herself to a sitting position, "Don't do that when you're not even supposed to be there! Do you want me to die before I'm forty too?"

Rory peered sleepily over the arm of the couch, apologizing meekly, "Sorry."

Once her breathing was back to normal and the adrenaline rush was beginning to wear off, Lorelai waved off Rory's apology, "Thankfully, I expect a speedy recovery, so you're off the hook." After taking another second to push away everything that had been on her mind to focus on Rory, she inquired as to why she had just been given her second heart attack in less than an hour, "What are you doing here anyway? Did I not just send you back to Yale's hallowed ivy covered halls?"

Rory pulled herself into a sitting position to face her mother as she nodded in response, "Yeah, but… Well, studying pretty much sucks right now, and Paris keeps asking what she should bring to London, and she's being Paris…" That spoke for itself – Lorelai knew Paris enough to need no other explanation, but she was already getting lost in her own thoughts again, so Rory took the silence as a an opening to continue with her reasoning for her impromptu return to Stars Hollow, "So I needed a break, and I know you guys were all crazy with inn stuff, so I thought I could help. Make my break give you a break too. But then you weren't here last night, and I fell asleep watching TV, and…" Rory's voice faded out as she heard her own words. _Lorelai was just getting home now? What the hell?_ "Wait, where were you last night?" Rory asked abruptly, confused. Jason was out of the picture, so there wasn't really anyone for her to be spending the night with…

"Zucchini patch," Lorelai replied matter-of-factly, as if such an event were as commonplace as a trip to the mall.

But it left Rory utterly perplexed, "What?"

Lorelai nodded in confirmation, this time purposely offering up less information than she knew Rory was after, "Yup, slept in the zucchini patch." She couldn't help it – Rory always had the upper hand in figuring things out, so sometimes she had to have her fun and confuse the kid a little. A grin slowly began to grace her face as she watched the expressions of confusion flicker across her daughter's features.

"The zuchinni pa…" Rory trailed off, one extraordinarily disturbing possibility finally creeping into the back of her mind. "Wait, that's not some weird code name for…" She squirmed uncomfortably, leaving Lorelai to fill in the blank.

Which she couldn't quite do, at least not right away. A confused expression mirroring Rory's from a moment ago left Rory to give a knowing shrug, complete with a suggestive eyebrow raise to get her point across.

The insinuation finally hit Lorelai, "Oh Rory, don't even say it!" She yelped in disgust, "Majorly dirty!" Her mouth wide open in mock horror, she shrieked again, "My perfect sweet little pure angelic daughter does not ever, ever think up dirty meanings for zucchini patch!"

Rory giggled at Lorelai's reaction as she sputtered to defend herself, "Well I don't know, you didn't come home, and when you do you look happy… Really happy… I thought, well… And, actually, your hair's kind of messy… I thought…" Rory paused for a split second, realizing she was making no progress at all. Deciding it was better to just be blunt when it came to Lorelai, she resorted to her tried and true question, "Did you do something slutty?"

"No!" Lorelai gasped at Rory's implication, the remark actually stinging a bit for once in her life. So many times before it had been just a joke. But now… Rory knew she was very much single. Did she really think she actually was slutty enough go out and randomly sleep with… Well, with whoever? "Oh, Rory…" She sighed, "Sookie and Jackson thought the zucchini might freeze and not make it for the soup for the opening, and Michel was just being a pain, so we all slept in the zucchini patch to make sure they stayed warm enough."

Now Rory knew her mother well enough to catch the nearly indiscernible flicker of pain flash across her face upon hearing the slutty comment. She also knew that an apology would be brushed off, especially since Lorelai knew her just as well and was pretty likely to have already caught the look of remorseful guilt that was sure to have just crossed her own face. Of course, Rory also knew that humor was the best way to bring a smile back to a Gilmore girl. Especially dirty humor… Crawling towards the end of the couch, she planted her elbows on the arm and rested her face in her palms in a very 'sleep-over gossip' fashion. Sticking to that theme, she questioned Lorelai in a teasing tone, "So it was even dirtier? It was like a whole big zucchini orgy?"

The humor worked. "Oh yeah, exactly…" Lorelai chuckled as she pulled herself to her feet to get a better view of the reaction she was sure to get from Rory for this one… Leaning over the banister towards the couch where Rory was still perched, she spoke in a melodramatically hushed voice, "Me and Michel and the zucchini… Rory, let me tell you…"

Rory recoiled in sheer disgust instantly, "Ew!" Whining, she flopped backwards onto the couch, practically writhing in repulsion at such a thought, "Mom! Oh, ew!" She continued squealing as Lorelai doubled over in laughter on the stairs, "And you were yelling at me for being dirty? My poor ears!" For emphasis, she clapped her hands over her ears. "And brain! I'm scarred for life!" came the next cry, as Rory played up the scene even more, burying her head under a throw pillow. "Oh my God, I can never go near anything zucchini again! So dirty!"

Lorelai smirked as she caught Rory's last few muffled whimpers from under the pillow. Exactly the reaction she was going for. As she gazed at Rory, who continued to over-dramatize, her smirk of self-satisfaction slowly transformed into a peaceful smile of contentment. _This_ was why she wanted more kids. And someone to share them with. Completely random, completely perfect moments like this.

But for the first time in a long time, the moment wasn't also tainted by a sense of melancholy sadness at experiencing it alone. There was always…

Lorelai was once again dragged from her contemplation and daydreams as Rory finally surfaced from beneath her bunker of couch pillows.

She'd paused for a moment, taking in the oddly serene expression her mother suddenly wore. Now Rory knew things were crazy with the inn – the fact that Lorelai had apparently willingly slept outside in a vegetable garden was a testament to that – and that the whole baby conversation had thrown her for a loop a few days ago, but now… Now Lorelai looked like she should have been peacefully tanning on a tropical beach somewhere with not a care in the world. Rory was seriously beginning to consider bipolar disorder as the only explanation for the erratic moods... "Mom?" She questioned softly.

"Hmm?" Lorelai murmured in response, forcing herself to focus on Rory, the goofy smile still plastered on her face.

"You look really happy for having slept with the zucchini…" Rory reiterated her initial point slowly, leaving an opening for any sort of explanation.

Lorelai took a deep breath and answered simply, "I am happy."

"Are you sure you didn't do something slutty?" Rory went for the suggestive joking again, hoping Lorelai would open up a little.

She didn't. She no longer had a need to vent to Rory about this particular issue. She was good. As she moved to head upstairs to finally take that much needed shower, she sighed once more – a happy sigh, "No. Ror, this is _way_ happier than slutty."

And it _was_ way happier than slutty for Lorelai, she mused as she continued up the stairs to her room, a wistful grin still gracing her tired face. She couldn't put her finger on why, exactly. Nothing had really changed. Not in the past hour, or in the past day, or even the past week. She was still Lorelai Gilmore, of epic singledom, and mother of only child, Rory. She was still stressed out of her mind trying to prepare for the opening of her very own inn, she still loved her cutesy t-shirts and her coffee.

Nothing had really changed. Nothing except the fact that Luke, Luke Danes himself, of the perpetual scowl and flannel, had invited her to accompany him to his sister's wedding.

A little out of the ordinary, yes, but really, how common was the marriage of his sister? And they were friends, after all. Had it happened three years ago, or three years from now, he may have still asked her. And maybe it would have still just been as friends. And maybe that's still what it was, even this time.

But maybe, just maybe, that's _not_ how he meant it.

Maybe it could be something more. Maybe he wanted them to be something more. Maybe it was meant to be a date, a date that would signify the beginning of an amazing relationship, with more dates, and their own wedding, and children, and vacations, and anniversaries, and grandchildren…

Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was just two friends going to a wedding. And Lorelai was ok with that. If nothing came of her and Luke, either now, or ever, she'd be ok with that. She'd made peace with that.

Because she knew that maybe, just maybe, it could be more. That glimmer of possibilities out there on the horizon... The happy ending… Lorelai knew she'd always have Luke, in one way or another – as a friend, if nothing else.

She also knew she'd always hold fast to the dream of those extra things that were also always going to be there with him…

The possibilities.


End file.
